After three grueling years, I felt excited to start my senior year last fall with the prospect of graduating on a high note then journeying past the familiarity of my high school walls. The process sounded simple: Work hard, don’t procrastinate, get good grades and stay out of trouble. Easy, right? After all, these are the platitudes students constantly hear.
This past December, I was devastated by the sudden loss of a close family member, the person who helped raise me after my father’s passing when I was 2. The process that I naively thought was so straightforward became an improbable feat as my school performance dropped to an all-time low.
Grief and loss are universally known experiences aggravated by the COVID-19 pandemic. Still, our educational system has not fully recognized the pandemic’s sustained impacts on student mental health and have overlooked the thousands of children who have lost caregivers and parents. In a time where the lines between home and school life continue to blur, we must recognize the importance of integrating social and emotional support in K-12 schooling to ensure the well-being of all our students.
When asking for academic support after my loss, I was told, “Don’t give up.” When I shared my genuine concerns about my grades, some teachers gave me a well-intentioned, “You’ll be fine!” My experience made me realize the missing trauma-informed support for students grieving the loss of a caregiver.
During that time, I was lucky to have one teacher, my Theory of Knowledge teacher, who understood what I was going through. When I panicked about my grades and college applications, she listened and described her own experience with loss. Furthermore, she gave suggestions on how to manage my applications and balance my workload. Just having those conversations gave me a chance to feel seen, heard and supported. I’m not the only student with this need.
According to a study from the American Academy of Pediatrics, more than 140,000 children in the U.S. have lost a parent or a grandparent caregiver to COVID-19; Washington reported a rate of 49-159 caregiver losses per 100,000 children due to the pandemic. These losses are most prevalent in our most vulnerable communities: those with lower socioeconomic status and racial minorities.
Losing a parent or caregiver has profound effects on child development, mental health and school performance. But what do these effects look like? According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, children going through grief and loss exhibit some of the following signs:
- An extended period of depression in which the child loses interest in daily activities and events.
- Inability to sleep, loss of appetite, prolonged fear of being alone.
- Acting much younger for an extended period.
- Withdrawal from friends.
- Sharp drop in school performance or refusal to attend school.
More state support is needed
Acknowledging the need to support students’ well-being, Washington adopted statewide Social and Emotional Learning standards in January 2020. The state Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction says the standards help students gain awareness of and the skills to help manage their emotions. According to the agency, “When we think of educating the whole child, their social and emotional development must be considered as a part of overall instruction.” Schools now provide monthly lessons about mental health, suicide prevention and more.
While the SEL standards are a step in the right direction, they remain difficult to implement due to the end of federal pandemic relief aid aimed at schools. The funding was meant to enable states and “more directly schools, to support students who have been most severely impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic,” according to the U.S. Department of Education.
The federal money has allowed school districts all over the country to provide mental health resources for the students and families they serve. I believe schools should continue to receive SEL and mental health funding beyond 2024, as some students continue to suffer the trauma from caregiver loss.
I just graduated from Olympia School District, where funding is limited, and elementary music programs and family liaisons face potential cuts. These programs have helped to support thousands of students recovering from parental and caregiver loss and many other adverse childhood experiences during the pandemic. This past February, during Washington’s legislative session, hundreds of educators and student representatives gathered for the annual “Day on the Hill” to advocate for consistent funding for special education programs and transportation. These united efforts have signified the necessary push for funding and empathy to support student needs.
Integrating trauma-informed practices is another way schools can better support students recovering from caregiver loss during the pandemic and other adverse experiences. The purpose of this approach is to create an environment of safety and support. Psychiatrist Bruce Perry, who has done extensive research in child psychiatry, brain development and the impacts of trauma, recommends “6 R’s” that are essential to trauma-informed classroom practices: relational, relevant, respectful, rhythmic, repetitive and rewarding.
It is also essential for teachers and administrators to address and process their own responses to the pandemic in order to best provide their students with a safe, trauma-informed space.
One other important solution to help kids cope is play therapy. It uses the natural language of children to help kids process and communicate their feelings and support healing from stressful and traumatic events.
As more students face adverse childhood experiences beyond the pandemic, we must lead our educational system with empathy. Not just because children are our country’s most vulnerable and important prospects for the future, but because we are human beings who deserve the right to grace and understanding.