No need for pit stops in this race.

Jon Ausbury’s three-person team captured the 10th annual Toilet Bowl Challenge — think large tricycles with toilets for seats — in Maple Park, Ill., on Saturday. And if the racing vehicles look familiar, well, there’s a reason.

“They’ve been passed down through the generations,” racer Madeline Bogathy told the Kane County Chronicle, tongue in cheek.


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• At “Cyclists hospitalized after confusing laundry detergent for sports drink / Doctors confirm all urine tests came back clean.”

• At “RGIII refusing to let realistic assessment of his play get to him.”


The 49ers’ new Levi’s Stadium hosted a wedding over the weekend.

In keeping with the local football theme, well-wishers threw Jerry Rice.

And the “something new” was another fresh layer of sod.

Avon calling — the pitches

The Royals’ Salvador Perez has taken to using women’s perfume to mask the odor of his sweat-soaked catcher’s gear. So what do plate umpires think about it?

“One of them said I smell like a girl,” Perez told Fox Sports Kansas City. “That’s OK. Most of them like it, too.”

Low center of gravity

A glitch in the Madden 15 Ultimate Team has turned Browns rookie linebacker Chris Kirksey into a 1-foot-2 Tennessee Titan.

On the plus side, though, he’s practically automatic when it comes to making stops on third-and-short.

Hairline, we assume

Caroline Wozniacki lost a point at the U.S. Open when her ponytail got caught in her racquet.

“She won the match,” noted RJ Currie of, “but may have suffered a tress fracture.”

Unhappy Returns Dept.

Joe Pisarcik lives!

Holy Cross, leading Albany 13-7 with roughly a minute to play, ran the ball on third down while queueing up for a clinching field goal — resulting in a jarring tackle, a fumble, a 79-yard TD runback and a shocking defeat.

Quote marks

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, after the Tigers gave Derek Jeter two seats from demolished Tiger Stadium as a retirement gift: “And they better not show up on eBay.”

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, after surf legend Laird Hamilton saved a fellow surfer from drowning: “Hamilton was immediately offered a spot on the USC football team.”

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after Will Power won an IndyCar race: “Who was second? Dee Termination?”

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on the hometown team’s NFL-leading 10 arrests since 2012: “Isn’t the 49ers’ defense over the criminal cap?”

Labor pains

The Houston Astros fired manager Bo Porter on Labor Day.

Evidently it just wasn’t working.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or