Talk about a can-do attitude. Canadian stuntwoman Jolene Van Vugt sped 46 mph on a motorized toilet — breaking the land-speed record...

Talk about a can-do attitude.

Canadian stuntwoman Jolene Van Vugt sped 46 mph on a motorized toilet — breaking the land-speed record of 42 mph for such a vehicle — at the Nitro Circus stunt show in Sydney, Australia.

“I came out here to jump straight on the toilet,” she told Metro.co.uk. “That was so fun — and I’m stoked to get the record.”

Stat of the day

College football or basketball coaches are the highest-paid public employees in 39 of the 50 states, according to Deadspin.com.

Headlines

• At SportsPickle.com: “Orb posts photos of himself partying with Johnny Manziel on Instagram.”

• At TheOnion.com: “Derek Jeter transferred to 60,000-day DL.”

Ruining of the Bulls

You’d have to bet $1,700 just to win $100 on the Heat beating the Bulls and advancing to the next NBA playoff round, according to Pregame.com.

Can you say slam-dunk?

Quote marks

Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World Herald, on Texas A&M increasing Kyle Field’s seating to nearly 103,000: “Actually, in Texas, they’re no longer called football stadiums. The new preferred term is ‘temple.’ “

• Michael Silver of Yahoo.com, on out-of-work QB Tim Tebow’s lack of NFL job prospects: “It’s as if Tebow is the unwanted love child of Ryan Leaf and JaMarcus Russell.”

• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on why the essence of hockey is a little boy’s game: “If you misbehave, you have to go into timeout.”

• NBC’s Jay Leno, on the Chicago Cubs threating to move if improvements are not made to Wrigley Field: “And Wrigley Field said it will move if improvements are not made to the Chicago Cubs.”

Paging Pedro Cerrano

The Angels are off to their worst start ever after 33 games — and getting desperate.

As pitcher C.J. Wilson told the L.A. Times: “Maybe we could sacrifice a live goat or chicken or get a pincushion out.”

Burying their sorrows

Unhappy fans of Bulgaria’s CSKA Sofia soccer team dug a grave in the middle of the team’s playing field and placed a headstone on it.

And the team is three games over .500! You’d think they were six under.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com