Flail to the chief! Nearly 2 ½ years after his errant elbow in a pickup basketball game led to 12 stitches in Barack Obama's upper...

Flail to the chief!

Nearly 2 ½ years after his errant elbow in a pickup basketball game led to 12 stitches in Barack Obama’s upper lip, Reynaldo Decerega is publicly talking about it.

“I didn’t want that to define my life,” the 40-year-old programs director for the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute told The Boston Globe. “I felt horrible. I’ve played basketball a million times in my life and I’ve never elbowed anybody.

“So the first time I do this, it’s to the president of the United States? What is the probability of that? Nil, right?”

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• At SportsPickle.com: “Chicago Bulls’ HR director informs Derrick Rose that he’s out of personal days.”

• From The Borowitz Report at NewYorker.com: “NRA leader warns of rising cost of senators.”

Poor Tom

Patriots QB Tom Brady is $25,000 richer after Orb — sitting in 17th place at the three-quarters pole last Saturday — roared back to win the Kentucky Derby.

So that makes it three Super Bowl rings, a supermodel wife, a $57 million contract — and now a serendipitous Derby windfall. Just when is this poor guy going to catch a break?

Paging Ace Ventura

Just out of habit, Miami Dolphins fans placed the blame for lack of public support for stadium renovations — and the team’s threatened exit — on:

a) ownership

b) politicians

c) Ray Finkle

Paging Gloria Steinem

“For the first time ever, girls in Saudi Arabia will be allowed to take part in school sports,” noted NBC’s Jay Leno. “Of course, their moms won’t be allowed to drive them to practice. But hey, it’s progress.”

Talking the talk

• Defensive tackle Warren Sapp, to the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on getting voted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame: “Just a little boy from Plymouth, Florida … If they ain’t laughing at your dreams, you ain’t dreamin’ big enough.”

• Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, via Twitter, on his pending release from the team: “So long, Minnesota, and thanks for all the fish!”

• Comedian Argus Hamilton, on the Cubs’ plans to erect a huge videoboard at Wrigley Field: “Don’t you need to score runs before you need a 6,000-square-foot scoreboard?

• Robert Cox of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, after security guards in Oklahoma City nabbed a man trying to steal a Zamboni: “As with most Zamboni-related crimes, police said alcohol was a factor.”

No fan of return game

Buffalo Bills defensive end Mario Williams is suing his former fiancee in hopes of getting the $785,000 engagement ring back.

Apparently she’s electing to receive.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com