Well, Coach always says “safety first,” right?

The Steelers scored just three seconds into their season Sunday – without touching the ball – when Titans return man Darius Reynaud fielded the kickoff, took a half-step back into the end zone and put a knee down, thinking he’d get a touchback.

Instead, it was 2-0, Steelers.

NFL headlines

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• At Fark.com: “Matt Flynn demoted from starting QB for NFL team. This is not a repeat from last year.”

• At TheOnion.com: “Rex Ryan on Jets season: ‘Anything short of 6-10 is a failure.’ ”

Deja Blue

The news wasn’t all bad for Notre Dame coming out of its 41-30 loss in Ann Arbor on Saturday.

As first reported by comedy writer Jerry Perisho, “This season, Manti Teo’s imaginary girlfriend dates a player from Michigan.”

Tweet of the Week

From Fox TV’s Ken Rosenthal: “All right, folks, have at me. Even Ichiro called me ‘shorty’ today. In perfect English.”

Sports quiz

From Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press: “Eight is the over/under on:

“a) Lions wins this season.

“b) Peyton Manning TD passes against the Ravens. (Take the under.)”

Pass the barf bag

Cowboys rookie tackle Justin Pugh says he gets so nauseous before games that he feels like vomiting, he told the Newark (N.J.) Star-Ledger.

But chin up, Dallas opponents: “I’m a dry-heave guy.”

Oink Airlines

“Can Jets win Super Bowl?” read the headline in the New York Post. “Hey, there’s no law against it.”

Knee-jerk response from Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com: “Last I looked there was no law against pigs flying either.”

Talking the talk

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after Thursday’s NFL opener in Denver was delayed 33 minutes by lightning and bad weather: “ ‘It’s because they cut Tebow,’ explained God.”

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on LeBron James co-producing a sitcom called “Making It Out”: “Out of where, Cleveland?”

• Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel, on the two men arrested for trying to pilfer some Wrigley Field ivy: “In keeping with Cubs tradition, the steal was unsuccessful.”

Going, going, gone

Milwaukee’s SURG Restaurant Group is cutting its ties with Brewers steroid user Ryan Braun.

Apparently the wait staff got tired of hearing all the customers’ “and super-size it!” jokes.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com