That's one header he'll never forget. A pig's head was sitting in Kenwyne Jones' locker when the Stoke City striker showed up last week...

That’s one header he’ll never forget.

A pig’s head was sitting in Kenwyne Jones’ locker when the Stoke City striker showed up last week.

Police quickly winnowed their list of obvious suspects to:

• Don Corleone

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• the team’s practical joker

• a fan of West Ham

NFL headlines

• At “Cleveland Browns gearing up to punt ball down opponents’ throats.”

• At “David Garrard thanks his knee for keeping him off the Jets.”

Still Golden

“Bea Arthur Naked” — an artist’s fantasy painting of the late “Golden Girls” star — sold for a whopping $1.9 million at a New York auction.

Makes one wonder what a Marge Schott knock-off might fetch.

Staying power

The three longest-running shows in TV history, from Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel:

3) “The Simpsons”

2) “60 Minutes”

1) The 2013 NBA playoffs

Tri-flux fastballs

Tommy Wilson — the namesake son of the actor who played Biff the bully in “Back to the Future” — pitched five scoreless innings in a baseball playoff win for Notre Dame High School of Sherman Oaks, Calif.

In other words, nobody home, McFly.

Letter rip

Russia’s Alexander Povetkin KO’d Poland’s Andrzej Wawrzyk to retain his WBA heavyweight belt.

In Scrabble points, however, Wawrzyk’s name won a unanimous decision, 53-34.

Talking the talk

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, with a Detroit-Chicago tale of the tape before the cities’ NHL playoff series: “Our cherished sports tradition is throwing octopi. Theirs is throwing the 1919 World Series.”

• Janice Hough of, after the Phillies signed hulking hurler Carlos Zambrano: “To pitch or replace the Phillie Fanatic?”

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after a group of first-graders took a field trip to LSU: “Two left with signed letters of intent.”

• Panthers receiver Steve Smith, to Charlotte’s WFNZ radio, on the Jets’ beleaguered quarterback: “I wouldn’t let Mark Sanchez throw me a paper-bag sandwich.”

Penalty on the play

Authorities in Broward County, Fla., issued an arrest warrant for ex-receiver Chad Johnson for failing to check in with his probation officer.

Updated scouting report: Johnson may have lost a step, but he still gets good separation.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or