Go to a hockey game, get sent to the box.
Some lucky fan will win two free burial plots when the minor-league Bakersfield (Calif.) Condors hold Cemetery Plot Giveaway Night on Jan. 21.
“We do have a dark side,” Condors president Matthew Riley told Yahoo! Sports. “Hopefully whoever wins it won’t need to (use it) for a while.”
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• At Fark.com: “Aldon Smith raises the bar over Von Miller to be the NFL’s Dumbest Linebacker.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Packers go with no-cuddle offense.”
Not so fast there
Ratcheting up the degree of difficulty when Virginia Tech and Tennessee play a football game at Bristol Motor Speedway in 2016:
Mandatory pit stops on every scoring drive.
“Not that more information is necessary to explain the 28-point line for Denver’s game against Jacksonville,” wrote Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, “but the Broncos scored 51 points last week against the Cowboys, while the Jaguars have scored 51 points all season. Enough said.”
“What would the Denver-Jacksonville odds be if the teams switched quarterbacks?” asked R.J. Bell of Pregame.com. “I reached out to multiple Las Vegas and online bookmakers, and the consensus opinion is:
“Denver (with Blaine Gabbert) would be favored by 11 points hosting Jacksonville (with Peyton Manning).”
• Blogger TC Chong, on the NFL plans to play three games in London next year: “You’d think they would schedule at least one game for another huge emerging market — Los Angeles.”
• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on yet another new college bowl, in Boca Raton, Fla.: “Just wondering if an invitation to this game would be a reward or a sentence?”
• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after VirtualTourist.com named Jacksonville one of the most dangerous U.S. cities to visit: “Unless you are an NFL team.”
• CBS’s David Letterman, on awards week in Stockholm: “The Nobel Prize for chemistry once again went to the Yankee Stadium hot dog.”
Looking for a little something different for that Texas A&M fan on your holiday list? Thanks to upcoming stadium renovations, a square of Kyle Field sod can be yours for just $20.
Or $10,020, if you can get Johnny Football to stamp his cleatmark into it.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org