Looks like cupcakes are still on the menu in big-time college football.

ESPN polled the 65 coaches from the Power Five conferences — ACC, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-12 and SEC, plus Notre Dame — on the subject of nonconference games and discovered that:

• 30 — less than half — favored playing only Power Five opponents;

• 23 were opposed;

• 12 were undecided; and

• 64 said, “First dibs on Purdue!”

(OK, just kidding on that last one.)

Headline

• At TheOnion.com: “Tiger Woods developing swing that doesn’t send pain shooting through every inch of body.”

Gift-wrapped in foil

There’s a new app on the market that allows neighbors and acquaintances to exchange leftovers with each other.

It obviously works: The Knicks just traded Wayne Ellington and Jeremy Tyler to the Kings for Quincy Acy and Travis Outlaw.

Names in the game

Former NBA star Metta World Peace says he wants to change his name once again, this time to:

a) The Panda’s Friend

b) The Artest formerly known as Ron

Chronic exhibitionist

Sure-fire sign you might be addicted to fantasy football: You’re also playing in a preseason league this year.

Paging Al Cowlings

Starring in California’s best slow-speed police chase since O.J.: a 150-pound fleeing tortoise, clocked at speeds of up to 1 mph.

Apparently the Alhambra cops nabbed him at a shell station.

Tide of euphoria

According to Princeton Review’s annual college rankings, Vanderbilt boasts the happiest students in America.

Well, duh: The Commodores don’t have to play Alabama in football this season.

Shooting blanks

The National Scrabble Championship take place in Buffalo through Wednesday.

Defensive strategists predict it’s going to be tougher than ever getting a word in edgewise this year.

Quote marks

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on ESPN The Magazine’s Body Issue: “If players pose stark naked for a national magazine, how come after a game I have to wait 15 minutes for them to get fully dressed before I can ask them questions?”

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, after a jogger in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park discovered a skeleton wearing a Nets cap: “It was reportedly still waiting for a pass from Deron Williams.”

Meals on wheels

Oklahoma, citing all its widespread sports venues, is purchasing a food truck so that it complies with new NCAA rules allowing athletes to receive unlimited snacks.

Hey, it was either that or retrofit the Sooner Schooner.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com