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Chicago Police say they’ve arrested the same woman 396 times since 1978.

Shermain Miles, in her latest court appearance, pleaded guilty to attacking a city alderman, trespassing, public drinking and unlawfully impersonating a Cincinnati Bengal.


• At “Alabama fan who poisoned Auburn oak trees free to take up roots in Louisiana.”

This week, save 90% on digital access.

• At “Ocho clinko.”

Let’s spend two

Police in Chicago arrested a man and a woman for allegedly using counterfeit bills to purchase items at Wrigley Field concessions stands.

Incredulous investigators say they’d never seen Ernie Banks’ likeness on a $20 bill before.

Stat of the Week

From RJ Bell of “Among the last 25 Heisman winners, only one quarterback has won an NFL playoff game: Tim Tebow.”

Bag limit: one

Forget cats stuck in a tree. A Monroe County (Fla.) sheriff’s deputy had to remove a Doritos bag that got stuck over a deer’s head.

Wildlife agents suspect it must’ve gotten the munchies after a whiff of deer-antler spray.

Want to get away?

“That block. Did you see it?” wrote’s Michael Rosenberg of LeBron James’ highlight-reel rejection in Game 2. “San Antonio’s Tiago Splitter went up for a dunk, and by the time he landed, he knew he would have to grow a beard, change his name and move to a country without YouTube.”

Quote marks

• Buster Olney of, on the NL’s hottest team: “Pitching to the St. Louis Cardinals is like standing on a hill of fire ants. You might get one or two of them, but the rest will keep coming, and they will get you.”

• Len Berman of, on Belmont Stakes winner Palace Malice being named for a 1949 Three Stooges comedy short: “I guess it’s a better name than ‘Nyuk Nyuk.’ ”

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on Ohio State president Gordon Gee’s retirement plans: “Trade his bow ties for tattoos.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after Mike Tyson danced with host Neil Patrick Harris at the Tony Awards: “That sounds like something I’d dream if I ate right before bedtime.”

Pardon his French

Rafael Nadal captured a record eighth French Open title — then slipped from fourth to fifth in the world rankings.

Bet that’s the last time they let Florida tally up the points.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or

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