Where have you gone, Vin Scully? The nation turns its lonely ears to you. "It is highly unlikely Scully, if he were today a young man, could...

Where have you gone, Vin Scully? The nation turns its lonely ears to you.

“It is highly unlikely Scully, if he were today a young man, could get a second audition from ESPN or any TV or radio entity that broadcasts baseball,” wrote the New York Post’s Phil Mushnick of the Dodgers’ 64-year icon. “Scully works without gimmicks and prefers to work alone. That he is a thoughtful, literate speaker of baseball, disinclined to parrot the latest, foolish expressions, would work against him.

“Today, if it were John Sterling vs. Vin Scully? No contest — Sterling would get the job.”

B.J. Raji surcharge

Unlimited Digital Access. $1 for 4 weeks.

Samoan Airlines began charging passengers by their weight last week.

Needless to say, the NFL won’t be expanding to Pago Pago any time soon.

Score it a line-out

An outdated toll-free number for the Yanks’ box office on Yankees.com takes callers to a sex line instead.

Coincidence? A-Rod just volunteered to man the phone bank.

Catch and release

A trawler off the coast of Wales got more than it bargained for when it reeled in an unexploded ordnance, possibly left over from World War II.

For once anglers were glad to hear the fishing wasn’t booming.

Bronx Gummers Dept.

Andy Pettitte and Mariano Rivera — a combined 83 years old — teamed up to do the pitching in the Yankees’ first win this season.

And not taking any chances, the team had Whitey Ford warming up in the bullpen.

Talko time

• Heat forward Shane Battier, to ESPN.com, when asked if Brittney Griner getting an NBA tryout would be a good thing or merely a sideshow: “Listen, this whole (NBA) is a sideshow — what’s one more trailer?”

• Louisville guard Kevin Ware, on CBS’s Letterman show, on the No. 1 thought going through his head when he gruesomely broke his leg: “At least my bracket’s not busted.”

• Headline at SportsPickle.com: “Auburn re-fires Gene Chizik in attempt to avoid NCAA sanctions.”

• Kicker Jason Hanson, to DetroitLions.com, on retiring from his pressure-packed job after 21 seasons: “I’m sure I might grow some hair back now.”

• Veteran 7-foot-1, 450-pound rassler “The Big Show,” to AP, on Wrestlemania 29: “Does it get old for me? Absolutely not. I still get butterflies in my stomach every time my music hits.”

Insanity plea likely

Lakiha Spicer has filed suit in Los Angeles for emotional distress over threatening emails sent to her, but in the end, Spicer might not be the one in need of protection.

She’s married to Mike Tyson.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com