Sideline Chatter

And you thought Texans fans were rough on Matt Schaub?

Soccer striker Ahtam Hamroqulov of Qurghonteppa, Tajikistan — after scoring twice to beat his hometown team in the semifinals of the Tajikistan Cup — came home to having his water and electricity shut off for the next five days.


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• At “Shocking poll results find only Cardinals and Braves fans think Yasiel Puig is ‘disrespectful.’ ”

• At “If you had ‘day one of practice’ in the Greg Oden injury pool, you win.”

Short-yardage only

Bum Phillips, the beloved ex-Oilers coached who died Friday at age 90, wasn’t overly concerned when star running back Earl Campbell couldn’t finish a mile run during training camp.

Reasoned Bum: “When it’s first-and-a-mile, I won’t give it to him.”

Airs Jordan

Basketball legend Michael Jordan’s 56,000-square-foot mansion in Highland Park, Ill., is going up for auction after two years of trying to sell it, The Wall Street Journal reported.

Realtors aren’t expecting a bull market.

Sports quiz

Utah Jazz rookies Rudy GoBert and Ian Clark painted their fingernails with sparkly-pink polish:

a) as part of the team’s rookie hazing.

b) because they’re big Oregon football fans.

Tanking it

Driver Tommy Grant Lathan, 49, has been charged with driving under the influence during a race in Anderson, Ind.

Not to mention using an improper fuel additive.

Hazing Arizona

Longtime Suns assistant Alvin Gentry, jettisoned as the team’s interim coach after last season, returned to Phoenix last week on the Clippers’ staff.

“You know, I had eight great years here,” Gentry told The Arizona Republic. “… I was here nine, by the way.”

Talko time

• Blogger TC Chong, on Oregon wearing pink helmets in its game against Washington State: “So that partly answers the question: What happened to all their gear when the Lingerie Football League folded?”

• Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, recalling the time he attended a Raiders-Chargers game: “I would’ve felt safer at a Manson family reunion.”

• South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier, to The State newspaper, on coaching at Tennessee’s Neyland Stadium for the 14th time: “I’ve coached there more than some of their head coaches.”

• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on the Giants and Vikings taking a combined 1-10 mark into Monday Night Football: “Can’t wait to see what sort of pregame hype ESPN uses to baste this turkey.”

Gut shake

Coming soon to the concession-stand menu at Texas Motor Speedway: bacon-and-beer milkshakes.

Tums not included.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or