Bluto Blutarsky, meet Ray Lewis.
Seems the former Ravens linebacker did a dead-on imitation of Bluto’s “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” speech with some of his fiery pregame exhortations.
“I love Ray, and I love how he always spoke from the heart,” Baltimore QB Joe Flacco told ESPN The Magazine, “but if you listened to those speeches, a lot of them didn’t even make sense.
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“He meant everything he was saying, but I didn’t know what he was talking about 90 percent of the time.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “Surging Astros win 3rd straight inning.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Gronk want play football now.”
But who’s counting?
Tom Brady was the top-earning player in New England last year, but he wasn’t even No. 1 in his own household.
The financial scoreboard, according to Forbes magazine: Brady $38.3 million, supermodel wife Gisele Bündchen $42 million.
In his job description
When Braves shortstop Paul Janish trapped a live bat in the infield, they sent the youngest guy in the dugout — Will Kearney — out with a towel to cover it and carry it to safety.
Well, he is the bat boy, right?
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“Amateurism is dead, smothered by NCAA commercialization. Yet, NCAA drags it around like it’s in a bizarre remake of ‘Weekend at Bernie’s.’ ” — ESPN’s Jay Bilas.
1 yard at a time
We like the Vikings’ chances of winning all the land disputes over the site of their proposed stadium.
With Adrian Peterson, they tend to gain a lot of ground.
“Wedge back following stroke” was an ESPN.com headline on the topic of:
• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, on Florida State football coach Jimbo Fisher relaxing his rule banning hats indoors at the Seminoles’ football complex: “But only for those players who wore their ACC Championship hats.”
• Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, after 800Razors.com offered Dodgers reliever Brian Wilson $1 million to shave off his trademark beard: “A million bucks for a beard? Isn’t that a hedge fund?”
• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, after the Brewers’ Ryan Braun not only lied about his drug use but accused the urine collector of being anti-Semitic: “I have one question: Is sleazebag one word or two?”
Batting cleanup in Aisle 3
Ricardo Rodriguez — who renamed his Brooklyn market A-Rod Grocery in 2000 — says customer backlash over the beleaguered slugger’s PED use is forcing him to rename it again.
Hey, it was either that or convert it into a drugstore.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org