Lennay Kekua, meet Matthew Stafford. "He's still a very good young player," wrote NFL.com's Gregg Rosenthal after the Lions QB plummeted...

Lennay Kekua, meet Matthew Stafford.

“He’s still a very good young player,” wrote NFL.com‘s Gregg Rosenthal after the Lions QB plummeted 35 spots, to 76th, in the NFL Network’s latest top-100 rankings, “but he’s a much better fantasy football player than he is in reality at this point.”

Manny being Maxi

Slugger Manny Ramirez, now playing for Taiwan’s EDA Rhinos, livened up the team’s recent train ride between cities by dressing up as the Incredible Hulk.

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Either that, or he’s back on the performance-enhancers again.

Directions, please

Can’t locate the new ABBA museum in Stockholm, Sweden? No problem, writes Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express:

“It’s on the same block as the Ikea missing-parts store, the Elin Nordegren Golf Club, the Bjorn Borg hair salon, the Sedin Playoff Retreat and the Hakan Loob oil-change shop.”

Calipari or bust

Former Secretary of Education William Bennett says the best return on a student’s investment at a U.S. college or university is:

a) Four years of study at Harvey Mudd

b) Four months of basketball at Kentucky

Boarding pass, please

Some 78,000 people have applied to take a possible one-way trip to Mars, Times magazine reported.

Actually, it’s 77,999. Dennis Rodman’s application is considered a return flight.

Fancy pit stop

NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon is putting his three-bedroom apartment overlooking Central Park up for sale for $30 million, the New York Daily News reported.

In other words, he’s looking for a new place to crash.

Quote marks

• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on Bulls star Derrick Rose still not playing despite getting medical clearance on his rehabbed knee: “So, if you had the cicadas coming back before he did in the pool, you’re looking good.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after ex-Lions receiver Titus Young was arrested twice in 15 hours: “Tying the record set by Otis on ‘The Andy Griffith Show.’ “

• 49ers CEO Jed York after Levi Strauss secured naming rights to the team’s new stadium: “Welcome to the Field of Jeans.”

• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on “Star Trek Into Darkness” opening in theaters: “The crew of the Enterprise boldly goes where no man has gone before — to a Miami Marlins game.”

It’s a snap

Matt Birk, the recently retired NFL center, threw out the ceremonial first pitch before Saturday’s Twins-Orioles game.

Incredulous scouts say they’d never seen a guy deep-snap a four-seamer before.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com