This meeting of the Marcus Fillyaw Fan Club is now called to order.

“I’ve told you, Marcus is never going to be exciting,” Southern Illinois basketball coach Barry Hinson told the Southern Illinoisan, when asked to describe his starting point guard. “Marcus isn’t Baskin Robbins. Marcus is an ice-cream shop that you get vanilla and that’s all you get. You don’t get sprinkles. You don’t get toppings. You get vanilla ice cream.

“Every time you see his stat sheet you are going to say, ‘Hmmm, that’s a pretty plain stat sheet.’ That’s what Marcus is. He’s a hamburger with no condiments.”

But Marcus is, we assume, one very hungry player.

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Bowe knows trouble

Chiefs receiver Dwayne Bowe was arrested late Sunday for speeding and possession of marijuana — less than a week before K.C.’s AFC West showdown against the Broncos.

That’s what you call running a bad-timing route.

Deep in the hole

A massive sinkhole opened up Sunday evening on Chicago’s South Side.

“So that makes two of those this year,” one local resident said, “if you wish to include the White Sox.”

Fighting for equality

Another hockey brawl — this one a postgame affair after Bemidji State upset Ohio State 3-2 — resulted in an NCAA-record 303 penalty minutes and 19 game disqualifications.

Still not impressed? It was a WOMEN’S hockey game.

1-2 punchdrunkl

Ohio State receiver Evan Spencer told reporters, when asked about No. 1 Alabama and No. 2 Florida State, “I think we’d wipe the field with both of them.”

Then he quickly excused himself, saying he’d just been ordered to take a drug test.

Talking the talk

• “Varsity Blues” star James Van Der Beek, via Twitter, on Aaron Rodgers and Seneca Wallace getting injured in back-to-back games: “I’m not saying the Packers are desperate, but they just called to ask if I could actually play quarterback.”

• San Francisco Chronicle reader Harvey Silverman, on Stanford’s ground-and-pound tactics that steamrolled unbeaten Oregon: “Three yards and a cloud of Ducks.”

• Comedy writer Alan Ray, on why the Cowboys like to send Dez Bryant long. “So they don’t have to hear him complain.”

• NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, on the Giants’ third straight win after an 0-6 start: “Which goes to show that if you work hard and really believe in yourself, eventually you’ll play a team that’s even worse than you.”

Turn on the juice

Student researchers at Ohio University are working to turn urine into electricity, and they might be on to something.

Ryan Braun’s A sample, you have to figure, might light up an entire city.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or