Chalk up the first sack of the NFL season.
Jake Close made the mistake of expressing his opinion of the Washington team’s controversial nickname — “I think they should keep the same name, but change the mascot to a potato” — alongside his name and photo in the Bloomsburg (Pa.) Press Enterprise.
Now he’s in jail on $25,000 bail, awaiting extradition to New York.
An alert police officer recognized him as the Jake Close wanted for jumping bail in a drug and DUI case.
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• At SportsPickle.com: “ESPN to discuss Body Issues on all-nude edition of ‘Outside the Lines.’ ”
• At TheOnion.com: “Ravens warn rookies to save some extra money for bail.”
Lighting it up
The left-field fence caught fire during the minor-league Lancaster (Calif.) JetHawks’ annual Fireworks Night.
In other words, third base was only the second-hottest corner.
Need a good chuckle?
Just say the words “Wimbledon gentlemen’s singles” — then remember that John McEnroe and Ilie Nastase once played in them.
Stat of the Week
“Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut consumed 61 hot dogs in 10 minutes,” wrote Eric Kolenich of the Richmond (Va.) Times-Dispatch. “The average American eats only 70 per year.”
Going, going, gone
The Arizona Diamondbacks released minor-league pitcher Anderson Placido after he was accused of burglarizing his teammates’ lockers during a game.
That’s what you call one costly caught-stealing.
Let’s skip July
From the Sometimes These Items Just Write Themselves file comes word that former Florida tight end Aaron Hernandez — in prison awaiting trial for murder — is featured in the July photo in an upcoming Gators football calendar.
Red-faced Florida athletic department officials are blaming early deadlines for the snafu.
• Comedy writer Tim Hunter, after Brazil got shellacked 7-1 in the World Cup: “I hope Germany’s snack moms brought some really good treats this week.”
• NBC’s Seth Meyers, on the annual Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain: “So if you’re sick of all the fake injuries at the World Cup, get ready for some real ones.”
Just say neigh
Police in Dekalb County, Ala., arrested a 45-year-old woman who allegedly got drunk, stole a horse and rode it to a nearby store to steal merchandise, leaving three Keystone beers in a plastic Walmart bag on the saddle horn.
Your serve, Josh Gordon.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org