Sideline Chatter

King of the Road? Roger Miller certainly wasn’t singing about Duncan Nicol.

The soccer fan from Coquitlam, B.C., has gone to 20 of his beloved Vancouver Whitecaps’ road games since they joined MLS in 2011 and has yet to see them win one — as in 0 wins, 14 losses and 6 ties.

“It’s just something that’s eluded me for three seasons now,” Nicol, who’s been to games in Seattle, San Jose, Salt Lake and Dallas this year, told the Vancouver Province. “I don’t know. I always have an uneasy feeling, especially when the Caps score first.”

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At least his misery has company. Good friend Chris Deal is 0 for 16.


• At “Cooper Manning tired of being disrespected: ‘Peyton and Eli don’t know (expletive) about energy investment equity.’ ”

• At “Five SEC players received standard SEC football package.”

Almost a clean sheet

• Tough-luck Texas pitcher Yu Darvish suffered his fourth 1-0 loss this season, this time against Oakland on Saturday.

On the bright side, though, he’s still in the running for MLS goalkeeper of the year.

Carted off

Four golf carts were stolen from a par-3 course in Omaha, Neb.

In other words, a different kind of longest-drive competition.

Repent it like Beckham

Latest sign that the apocalypse is near: The U.S. men’s soccer team is ranked 13th — four spots higher than England — in the latest world rankings.

Bad taste in bets

A Redskins fan had to eat his part of his own beard after losing a bet to his boss — an Eagles fan — when Philadelphia won last Monday’s NFL season opener, 33-27.

As Jason Pickar told The Washington Post: “It tasted like a combination of Pert Plus conditioner and ‘Oh (no), it’s caught in my throat.’”

Talko time

• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on CBS devoting a camera to track Texas A&M QB Johnny Manziel’s every move Saturday vs. Alabama: “Personally, I think it would be much more entertaining to have a ‘Johnny Cam’ after the game when Johnny Highball is out on the town.”

• NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, on Dennis Rodman helping coach the North Korean basketball team: “He’s going to teach them the key strategy that always worked for him: pass the ball to Michael Jordan.”

• NBC’s Jay Leno, on reports that NBA player Lamar Odom’s marriage to Khloe Kardashian is on the rocks: “If that turns out to be true, then Khloe would get the 12th pick in the NBA draft.”

Checkbook, please

The NFL fined Packers linebacker Clay Matthews $15,000 for a late hit on 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick last Sunday.

Or as Matthews prefers to call it, Kaepernick’s latest tattoo.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or