Disorder in the court! March, it appears, isn't the best time to be a defendant on Tobacco Road. "Our estimated activity loss per employee...
Disorder in the court!
March, it appears, isn’t the best time to be a defendant on Tobacco Road.
“Our estimated activity loss per employee averages around 43 percent during ACC tournament time,” Rachel Brooks of the North Carolina Department of Employment told the Kinston (N.C.) Free Press. “Just last year a judge in Forsyth County was caught watching the game on an iPad while he was on the bench.
“He would’ve gotten away with it if not for the fact that he kept yelling ‘Shoot the three!’ during a triple-homicide trial.”
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• At SportsPickle.com: “Peyton Manning texts Tom Brady pictures of himself throwing short passes to Wes Welker.”
• At TheOnion.com: “Dr. James Andrews’ ears perk up after hearing ACL snap across country.”
Road to nowhere
Ex-basketball flake Dennis Rodman, in Rome to hopefully meet with the new pope, says he’ll go “anywhere in the world that I’m needed.”
Which just might make him tougher to find than Waldo.
Latest fallout from Florida Atlantic University awarding the GEO Group — a prison-operating company — the naming rights to its football stadium:
The Owls will wear their traditional blue and red at home, and orange on the road.
“A pure-gold replica of soccer star Lionel Messi’s left foot valued at $5.25 million was unveiled in Tokyo,” noted Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. “The gold foot went on to score three goals later that day.”
Cue up the Blood, Sweat & Tears, and go down Grambling.
Despite their closest game of the season — a 59-51 loss to Alabama A&M — the Tigers finished with an 0-28 record in men’s basketball.
• Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, after the Nationals named Stephen Strasburg their opening-day starter: “However, in order to preserve his arm, he will be limited to throwing out the ceremonial first pitch.”
• NBC’s Jimmy Fallon, after Francis I, upon being named pope, was taken to “The Room of Tears” at the Vatican: “Or as I call that, ‘The Gym.’ “
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on the Lakers’ Kobe Bryant out indefinitely with a sprained ankle: “Can’t wait to hear Dwight Howard tell him to play through the pain.”
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on RB Reggie Bush’s No. 1 free-agent prerequisite: “A team that has fewer than seven former Kardashian boyfriends on the roster.”
He’s the reel deal
Millville (N.J.) High School announced plans to rename its baseball field in honor of Thunderbolts alum and Angels star Mike Trout.
In keeping with the theme, all fly balls there will be ruled catch-and-release.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com