Coming soon to Wrigley Field ... Torch and Pitchfork Night? The Chicago Cubs have only themselves to blame for creating the Sammy Sosa monster that has turned on the organization...

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Coming soon to Wrigley Field … Torch and Pitchfork Night?


The Chicago Cubs have only themselves to blame for creating the Sammy Sosa monster that has turned on the organization and is nigh untradeable, former Cubs broadcaster Steve Stone told ESPN’s “Outside The Lines.”


“For 12 years, they allowed him to get away with exactly what he wanted to get away with, to do what he wanted to do,” Stone said. “If Sammy wanted to have a guy sitting next to him on the bench, they let him do that.


“If he wanted to have a guy in uniform to work out with him, they let him do that. And if Sammy wanted to come to spring training late, they allowed him to do that.


“If you create Frankenstein, you can’t be real surprised if he eats the village.”


Waxing pathetic


Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum in London had to temporarily shut down its controversial nativity scene — featuring soccer star David Beckham as Joseph, Spice Girl wife Victoria as Mary, and George W. Bush and Tony Blair as two of the three wise men — after the Mary and Joseph figures were knocked over and damaged.


Well, the Spice figure, anyway. Word has it the wax Beckham simply took a dive.


NBA’s crown jewel


Forbes magazine has listed the Los Angeles Lakers as the NBA’s most valuable franchise for the third straight year, assessing it a value of $510 million, give or take a $4 million ring.


Stu Scott: you’re next


That R&B album for which Ron Artest wanted time off from the Indiana Pacers to promote — Allure’s “Chapter III” — has sold just 1,200 copies, USA Today reported, and amazon.com ranks it 29,585th on the best-seller list.


“There is good news, though,” wrote Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News. “I understand it just passed ‘The Chris Berman Christmas Album’ on the charts.”


The write stuff


• Jack Finarelli of sportscurmudgeon.com, after Chicago’s latest quarterback du jour, Chad Hutchinson, proclaimed “I am not a savior” before leading the Bears to a 22-3 defeat: “He may not have been a savior, but he sure was prophetic.”


• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, after Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski recorded his 700th career win this week: “Coincidentally, the same night, he celebrated his 700th career misspelling.”


• Bill Scheft of Sports Illustrated, after an ESPN.com survey revealed that 93 percent believe that baseball has been tainted by steroid use: “And the other 7 percent answered, ‘If I say they’re OK, do I still get the fleece?’ “


• Bill Lankhof of the Toronto Sun, on Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria casting a longing eye toward Las Vegas: “Vegas and Loria are made for each other. Both are loaded, and neither has a conscience.”


No puppy love lost


As if the Christmas Day showdown between the Lakers and the Miami Heat needed any more fuel, now comes rumors that Shaq’s dog once made an unwelcome sniff at Kobe’s pooch.




Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com