Jets can't be trusted with the big ball

No Dick Clark this New Year’s Eve? No problem.

Maybe one of the Jets can drop the ball in Times Square.


• At “Giants either terrible or about to win the Super Bowl.”

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• At “Ramon Sessions’ testicles involved in vicious attack on Dwayne Wade’s foot.”

Cup de gras

Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman beat the odds — and the rap — on his positive test result for a performance-enhancing substance.

But who would’ve guessed that the smoking gun was a leaking cup?

Good part-time gig

It’s not easy finding good seasonal work, but Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez — who’ll coach the Badgers in the Rose Bowl after Bret Bielema’s departure to Arkansas — did exactly that.

Alvarez will get the same pay that Bielema’s contract called for: $118,500, plus another $50K if the Badgers win.

Reality 1, Fantasy 0

“Odd Couple” actor Jack Klugman, who died Monday at 90, was an avid racehorse owner whose steeds included Jaklin Klugman, which ran in the 1980 Kentucky Derby.

“Art didn’t imitate life in this instance,” wrote Steve Carp of the Las Vegas Review-Journal. “Oscar Madison never had a winning day at the track.”

Priced to move

Don’t have the receipt? Good luck trying to get much in the return line for that Mark Sanchez jersey you got as a holiday gift.

One store in New York is now selling them for $10. Two weeks ago, it was $79.99.

Bring home the bacon

British cyclist Chris Bartlett was awarded a live piglet for winning a race in Spain.

Now that’s what you call a glory hog.

Quote marks

• Giants defensive end Justin Tuck, to AP, on his team needing a win in Week 17 — and losses by the Bears and Vikings, plus a loss or tie by the Cowboys — to make the playoffs: “Like I told everybody, I didn’t get my Christmas gift yet, so hopefully that comes on Sunday.”

• NBC’s Jay Leno, on Jets QB Tim Tebow and supermodel Camilla Belle ending their two-month relationship: “Sources say Tim was unhappy because he felt she was using him — and coach Rex Ryan wasn’t.”

• Canadian hockey player Benn Olson, via Twitter, unhappy after having to plunk down 30 pence on a pay toilet at London’s Euston Station: “I think I got my money’s worth.”

Not in the Cards

Running back Beanie Wells, sensing his tenure in Arizona is up, says he’s playing for “all the 31 other teams that’s watching” in Sunday’s season finale.

What, you expected him to admit he still plays for the Cardinals?

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or