Diamondback prospects? The West Ranch High School baseball team certainly has plenty to choose from. Or rather, its field in Stevenson Ranch...

Diamondback prospects? The West Ranch High School baseball team certainly has plenty to choose from.

Or rather, its field in Stevenson Ranch, Calif., does. Eleven rattlesnakes have been nabbed on or near there since school started in August.

“We’ve had them on the field, in the dugouts, on campus,” Wildcats co-coach Casey Burrill told the Los Angeles Times. “The strategy is sneak up behind with a long landscape rake, pin him and the other gets the head with a shovel. It’s definitely a two-person event.”

Going to Plan B

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Some barbers in Indiana are offering free blood pressure-checks while patrons sit in their chairs, the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette reported.

And if the medical equipment goes on the fritz, they just turn on the Cubs game.

Big Buehrle fan

Vernon Wells would be worth his $21 million-a-year salary if he got to face pitcher Mark Buehrle on a regular basis.

The Yankees outfielder is a career .489 hitter (23 for 47) against the Blue Jays lefty — and .271 against everyone else.

Tough turkey

The NFL’s Turkey Day lineup this season: Lions vs. Packers, Raiders vs. Cowboys and Steelers vs. Ravens.

“Good scheduling by the NFL here,” wrote DJ Gallo of ESPN.com. “If Ndamukong Suh is for some reason unable to deliver the ultra-violence we now expect on Thanksgiving Day, Steelers-Ravens in the nightcap will surely come through.”

Hammer time

Cardinals first baseman Matt Adams, hitting .524 with three homers in just 21 at-bats, was just the 699th player drafted in 2009.

“Like Albert Pujols, Adams had a rather, um, thick body,” explained Jeff Gordon of STLtoday.com. “Scouts like five-tool players. Adams has one tool: a giant hammer.”

Talking the talk

• Wizards forward Martell Webster, to The Washington Post, after Miami forward Rashard Lewis said the Heat could still be a playoff contender without LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh: “And then he woke up, right?”

• Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, on Major League Soccer’s season running from March 2 to early December: “That’s nine-plus months, or longer than your typical Taylor Swift relationship.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after a scientist predicted that man will be extinct in 5 million years: “That means, if we rush, we can get this year’s entire NBA playoffs in first.”

• Wizards coach Randy Wittman, to AP, on the ridicule in midseason for challenging his woebegone team in midseason to finish ninth in the East: “What do you want to aim for? Eighty wins, when you’re 4-28?”

Hustle, kid

Teen phenom Guan Tianlang was penalized for slow play at the Masters.

What, was he texting while driving?

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com