He’s a New York subway conductor by day — and a competitive eater in his spare time.

“I pretty much do my 9 to 5,” double record-holder Eric “Badlands” Booker told TheAtlantic.com. “It’s like being a superhero.

“It’s like, you know, you’re Peter Parker and you work for the ‘Daily Bugle’ and you take your pictures and do all that, but every now and then you have the Spider-Man suit and you throw it on.

“So when an eating competition comes along, I just do my weekend-warrior thing.”

Headlines

• At TheOnion.com: “World’s greatest soccer stars arrive in Brazil for monthlong Coca-Cola ad.”

• At Fark.com: “N.Y. Knicks decide that Derek Fisher will be their next ex-coach.”

Oh, snap!

Steelers center Maurkice Pouncey, slated to make $3.863 million this season, will more than double that next year after he agreed to a five-year, $44 million contract extension.

Or as they call it in snapping circles, a considerable pay hike.

Running hot and cold

NBA Finals malfunctions to date:

• San Antonio’s air conditioning in Game 1.

• Miami’s Heat in Games 3 and 4.

Prius owners, beware

Hockey Night in California still needs a little work.

“In other cities when the hockey team wins the championship, rowdy fans overturn cars,” noted TBS’s Conan O’Brien. “In Los Angeles, rowdy fans unplug cars.”

Love-40 Dept.

Ex-tennis star Monica Seles, 40, is engaged to marry former gubernatorial candidate Tom Golisano, 72.

Something old? Check …

Quote marks

• Commentor Mariner-Hawk, to Seattletimes.com, on Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman buying Jamal Crawford’s 5-acre estate: “I’m sure Sherm’s first order of business will be to have the gardener remove all the crabtrees.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on Donald Sterling suing the NBA for $1 billion: “If Sterling wins, the cost of an NBA arena hot dog will climb to $19,000.”

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on a Ghana witch doctor claiming credit for Cristiano Ronaldo’s leg injury: “If I were Ronaldo, I’d get a second opinion.”

• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on the spate of Tommy John surgeries 40 years after the first one: “It must be so weird having a major surgery named after you. ‘Don’t I know it,’ said Al Triplebypass.”

Prince of E’s

Video-game enthusiasts flocked to Los Angeles this week to take in the E3 convention.

Alas, the keynote speaker was not Prince Fielder.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com