Maybe Johnny Football should just make it official and declare himself a business major.

“Young athletes can spend hours perfecting their autograph, only to arrive in college and discover that the NCAA owns it,” wrote Michael Rosenberg of “I’m just surprised the NCAA didn’t make Johnny Manziel sign a check made out to the NCAA.

“That’s basically what Manziel does every Saturday in the fall, anyway.”

Works of Art

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A couple leftovers from Art Donovan, the colorful Colts Hall of Fame defensive tackle who died at age 88 on Sunday, as compiled by the Baltimore Sun:

• “The only weight I ever lifted weighed 24 ounces. It was a Schlitz. I always replaced my fluids.”

• “You know you’re big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.”

RG3 on the rollout

Gus’ Bar and Grill near the Redskins’ training complex has come out with a Robert Griffin III sandwich — sirloin steak stripes and lots of fixings on a footlong roll — but it might take some getting used to.

Customers can’t remember whether to order the RG3, the BLT or the ACL.

Pay-Per-Brew Dept.

“The University of Iowa has been named the top party school,” noted comedy writer Alan Ray. “It costs around $25,000 a year.

“And once you pay for beer, they want tuition.”

Around the Little Big Horn

The Reds are reeling in the NL Central, but manager Dusty Baker remains resolute.

“You can’t look for help, you have to find help from the inside,” Baker told The Cincinnati Enquirer. “The cavalry’s not coming. This isn’t a movie.”

Or worse, it’s Custer’s cavalry coming.

Don’t spare the Rod

• Ex-shortstop Ozzie Guillen, via Twitter, on Alex Rodriguez’s 211-game suspension: “It’s all Madonna’s fault. Every athlete she has been with has gone bad. See Canseco, Rodman and now Rodriguez. LOL LOL LOL.”

• Janice Hough of “So, how long until A-Rod announces he’s going to spend the rest of his life looking for the real PED users?”

• Rodriguez headline in the New York Post: “Banned plays on.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on A-Rod celebrating his 38th birthday last week: “If you’re shopping for a belated gift, you can’t go wrong with clean urine.”

Fueling up

Omaha, Neb., hosted its first-ever Beer and Bacon Festival.

Or as it’s better known down South, NASCAR tailgating.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or