Win a green jacket? Big deal.
Michelle Wie got a congratulatory bouquet from actor Adam Sandler when she won her first U.S. Open.
“I feel like that’s the biggest prize in golf,” Wie said, “getting flowers from Happy Gilmore.”
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Hey, it certainly beats getting a tin cup from Kevin Costner.
Q: How can you tell if a World Cup referee is working an Uruguayan match?
A: He’s packing a yellow card, a red card and a Diner’s Club card.
Just call it pay-per-chew
A whopping 167 online bettors cashed in at 175-1 odds after wagering that Uruguayan serial biter Luis Suarez would do it again during the World Cup.
“If there’s any justice,” wrote Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, “winning bets were paid out in Bitcoins.”
Overbiting his stay
Built-in excuse if Uruguay wants to jettison Suarez from the national team: He’s gotten a little too long in the tooth.
Tweet of the Week
From the NHL’s Carolina Hurricanes, with a recruiting pitch to LeBron James: “You know, you’d be 6-10 on skates.”
Rabbit Transit Dept.
The Tacoma Rainiers’ PCL game in El Paso had to be postponed Thursday night because the team’s luggage and equipment got misplaced in transit.
Looks like somebody pulled a Bugs Bunny and took a wrong turn in Albuquerque.
That’ll do it
So what, Anthony Castrovince of MLB.com asked Red Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski, did you say to plate umpire Quinn Wolcott to get yourself ejected from the game?
Pierzynski’s answer: “Give me a new ball. One you can see.”
• ESPN basketball analyst Fran Fraschilla, not impressed with the playing prospects of Raptors first-round pick Bruno Caboclo: “He’s two years away from being two years away.”
• CBS’s David Letterman, on this year’s NBA draft: “At least a few college kids will have jobs.”
• Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, after the U.S. soccer team advanced to the knockout round despite a 1-0 loss: “Apparently, the World Cup uses the Electoral College.”
Big one gets away
The Angels’ Mike Trout belted a Jason Vargas fastball 489 feet Friday night.
Well, duh: Everyone knows you can only get Trout with a hook or a sinker.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org