Sideline Chatter

What are the Yankees getting from their third baseman, who is making a reported major-league high $29 million this year: A-robbed.

While the only thing Alex Rodriguez has produced for the Yankees this year are headaches, here is a lineup that $29 million could buy this season, with nearly $18.5 million left over.

C Wilin Rosario, $491,000

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1B Paul Goldschmidt, $516,667

2B Jason Kipnis, $509,400

SS Brandon Crawford, $530,000

3B Manny Machado $495,000

OF Chris Davis, $3.3 million

OF Mike Trout, $510,000

OF Daniel Nava, $505,500

DH Mark Trumbo, $540,000

SP Matt Harvey, $498,750

SP Jeff Locke, $497,5000

SP Patrick Corbin, $494,000

SP Chris Tillman, $508,500

SP Lance Lynn, $513,000

Closer Craig Kimbrel, $655,000


New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton caddied for PGA Tour player Ryan Palmer last weekend at the Greenbrier Classic.

It worked out fine until Payton kept suggesting trap plays.

Ancient history

A rockfish estimated to be 200 years old was recently caught off the coast of Sitka, Alaska, meaning when it was born:

a) James Madison was beginning his second term as U.S. president

b) Jamie Moyer was beginning his major-league career.

When you come to a fork …

Mohamed ElBaradei, the Nobel Prize-winning diplomat from Egypt, quoted a beloved former Yankee regarding the ouster of Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi. “We just lost 2½ years. As Yogi Berra said, ‘It is déjà vu all over again,’ but hopefully this time we will get it right.”

The guess to Morsi’s response: “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”

Doggin’ it

What did Charles Barkley call Joey Chestnut’s record of 69 hot dogs eaten in 10 minutes?

A snack.

A tale of two franchises

In case you were wondering, the last time the Mariners swept a series, the Seahawks had yet to name Russell Wilson their starting quarterback.

Say what?

• “Apparently, a lot of people find it fascinating.” — My 5-year-old daughter Elizabeth, pointing to the large crowd on TV watching Chestnut consume hot dogs and refuting Mom’s claim that the competition was ridiculous.

• Mets first baseman Ike Davis, on his swing after modifying it during a stint in the minor leagues: “You’re going to have to find out tonight. See if you guys can pick it apart. … Obviously it’s not like I’m standing on my head.”

It’s no joke

If you didn’t think this was funny, have no fear: The Times’ Dwight Perry, with his endless supply of jokes, returns Monday.

Scott Hanson: