Last week's rankings in parentheses Team 1 Cardinals (1) If Cards meet Rangers in World Series again, let's just start w/2 outs in ninth...

Last week’s rankings in parentheses

1 Cardinals (1) If Cards meet Rangers in World Series again, let’s just start w/2 outs in ninth, Game 7
2 Rangers (2) Rangers agree, but this time, David Freese will be chained to bench
3 Yankees (4) Yankees are appealing as underdogs, if underdogs can have a $200 million payroll
4 Red Sox (7) Red Sox are appealing as underdogs, if underdogs can have overly entitled fan base
5 Pirates (15) Pirates truly are underdogs, and intent upon staying under for perpetuity
6 Reds (14) Brandon Phillips is stuck in permanent “Web Gem” mode
7 Indians (13) Indians’ best traits: toughness, fearlessness, aggressiveness, fitness, Kipnis
8 Tigers (6) Tigers send Albuquerque to Toledo, but don’t have a Toledo to send to Albuquerque
9 Diamondbacks (9) When was Patrick Corbin reincarnated as Randy Johnson?
10 Giants (8) Sorry, but the Buster I want to watch most this week is on Arrested Development
11 Braves (3) Justin comes off DL, teammates tell him, “Carry On My Heyward Son”
12 Nationals (11) David Stern currently in Montreal telling people he has to hurry to a Nationals game
13 Orioles (5) Jair Jurrjens to fill the Freddy Garcia veteran crapshoot berth in Orioles’ rotation
14 Rays (19) Reigning Cy David Price goes on DL, but future Cy Matt Moore is just fine
15 Royals (10) Billy Butler has a great nickname: Country Breakfast
16 Rockies (12) Future nickname alert: National Arenado and Space Administration
17 A’s (16) Cespedes working with Rickey Henderson, should be talking in third person very soon
18 Mariners (20) As I’ve always said, M’s will be just fine if they can only hit like Brendan Ryan
19 White Sox (24) Canceled promotions: the Casper Wells “Designated for Assignment” Bobblehead
20 Twins (17) Where’s Marty Cordova when you really need him?
21 Phillies (23) Phils regressing to days when “Big 3″ meant Person, Daal and Wolf
22 Padres (18) Alexi Amarista (5 feet 5, 150 pounds) has a great nickname, too: Little Ninja
23 Dodgers (25) They’ve been battling, but then again, so did Custer
24 Blue Jays (26) Jays still look good on paper, but in person they need to be digitally enhanced
25 Cubs (28) Samardzija will be next Cub extended as soon as they can spell his name on contract
26 Mets (22) Matt Harvey will start All-Star Game, if New York media has any sway
27 Brewers (21) David Stern has managed to make Bud Selig seem suave and debonair
28 Angels (27) Ominous news for Angels fans is that their farm system stinks, too
29 Astros (29) Even Marv Throneberry would shake his head at these guys
30 Marlins (30) Marlins close off upper deck. Next move: Close off lower deck, let fans sit in dugout