Last week's rankings in parentheses Team 1 Yankees (1) When Reggie Jackson opens his mouth these days, he's Mr. Awk-tober 2 Rangers (2...

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Last week’s rankings in parentheses

1 Yankees (1) When Reggie Jackson opens his mouth these days, he’s Mr. Awk-tober
2 Rangers (2) Maybe Rangers can trade for Hamels, Lee & Halladay to re-join Oswalt
3 Nationals (3) Never mind Strasburg’s innings limit; Harper has a clown-question limit, bro
4 Reds (7) Inspired by Chapman, Reds hitters now finish each HR with somersault across plate
5 Braves (8) Braves erase 9-0 lead, consumed by guilt for making Nats feel like they did last year
6 Pirates (6) Same old story: Pittsburgh fans shunning Steelers to obsess over Pirates
7 White Sox (4) Won’t ever wear shorts again, but might go for some tasteful jorts
8 Giants (10) Maybe Schuerholz will trade for Schierholtz, thinking they’re related
9 Angels (5) New Angels motto: “Trumbo and Trout, and wait for the rout”
10 A’s (17) Great underdog story. Hey, someone should do a movie about the A’s
11 Tigers (13) Nearing 1-year anniversary of Fister trade (or as it’s known here, the Casper trade)
12 Red Sox (18) Be wary of any limerick that begins, “There once was a prospect from Pawtucket… “
13 Dodgers (9) For 63rd consecutive year, Dodgers MVP is Vin Scully
14 Cardinals (12) Where’s Mike Matheny when you really need him? Oh, wait…
15 Orioles (15) Orioles fans love the Robinsons (Brooks and Frank; not necessarily Jeff or Eddie)
16 Mets (11) Like many pitchers, Dickey keeps a book on hitters, but his is fiction
17 Rays (16) Cutting-edge Joe Maddon hires Siri to make up his lineups
18 Indians (14) Ubaldo is 12-13 with 5.18 ERA in 30 starts with Cleveland
19 Blue Jays (19) Congratulations to Bob “Boxer” Elliott of Toronto Sun, the Spink Award honoree
20 Brewers (21) Selig rejects ads on uniforms; he wants them right on the flesh
21 Marlins (22) Turns out 2012 Marlins were over-hyped. Never saw that one coming
22 Diamondbacks (20) You don’t know me, and this is crazy, but we’ll trade Upton, so call me maybe
23 Phillies (24) Cole Hamels hopes to win the Claret Jugs Gun
24 Cubs (26) Cubs fans should click their heels in Ron Santo’s honor today
25 Mariners (28) Canceled promotions: The vomiting Jay Buhner bobblehead
26 Royals (23) Nice of Royals pitchers to give their own tribute to Verlander’s All-Star performance
27 Twins (27) Most majestic Spans: 1) Golden Gate; 2) Verrazano-Narrows; 3) Denard
28 Padres (29) Fun-loving Padres now give shaving-cream pies for every RBI
29 Rockies (25) Struggling Todd Helton announces that he’s retroactively retiring
30 Astros (30) In Cordero, Astros acquire veteran closer they needed for stretch drive
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