Last week's rankings in parentheses Team 1 Rangers (9) Apparently, all the Nolan Ryan drama was not so distracting after all 2 Red Sox ...

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Last week’s rankings in parentheses

1 Rangers (9) Apparently, all the Nolan Ryan drama was not so distracting after all
2 Red Sox (3) Red Sox call up RHP Steven Wright, known for his existential deadpan quotes
3 Braves (1) Braves were befuddled, their bats all muddled, by the wondrous Anibal Sanchez
4 Rockies (5) The .300 hitter nobody knows: Jordan Pacheco
5 Cardinals (8) The .190 hitter everybody knows: David Freese
6 Orioles (11) The most dreaded words in Baltimore: “Dr. Andrews will see you now, Dylan”
7 Yankees (6) Aaron Rodgers gets $110 million deal — an A-Rod who’s earned it
8 Royals (14) Royals give Chiefs friendly draft advice: Don’t take Luke Hochevar
9 Giants (4) Giants had planned Brian Wilson Beard Hats, but they scared the young children
10 Diamondbacks (13) Didi Gregorius is a name to remember (and to learn how to spell)
11 A’s (2) A’s had planned Josh Reddick Beard Hats, but ran out of fabric
12 Tigers (7) Matt drives in five; best performance by a Tuiasosopo since 2001 Rose Bowl
13 Pirates (20) Great to see Mill Creek’s Travis Snider thriving in Pittsburgh
14 Nationals (10) Who does Harper resemble when he bowls over catcher? That’s a Clowney question
15 Reds (12) In misguided homage to Johnny VanderMeer, Reds get one-hit in back-to-back games
16 Dodgers (15) Chad Billingsley has Tommy John surgery; sympathetic John has Billingsley surgery
17 Rays (18) Joe Maddon gets his own gnome giveaway; Rays coach Don Zimmer IS a gnome
18 Brewers (23) Never mind his four HRs; I’m stunned by Yuniesky Betancourt’s three walks
19 Mets (16) In Dillon and Harvey, Mets have a Gee/Whiz rotation
20 Twins (21) Book on 2013 Twins will be called “The Boys of Winter”
21 Angels (19) Where’s Damion Easley when you really need him?
22 Blue Jays (17) Munenori Mania hits Canada — but with a low slugging percentage
23 Phillies (24) Michael Young back over .300, all’s well with the world
24 White Sox (22) Nobody turns slumps into an art form quite like Adam Dunn (1 for 38, 17 K’s)
25 Indians (26) Francona was a lot smarter when he had Pedro, Schilling and Wakefield
26 Mariners (25) Next plan for more HRs is to play without fences and just let ball roll
27 Padres (27) Next plan for more HRs: aluminum bats and Super Balls
28 Cubs (28) Slugging Rizzo is reminiscent of Billy Williams, if you change .200 to .300
29 Astros (29) Astros season is NSFW: Not Suitable for Watching
30 Marlins (30) Loria calling shots is reminiscent of Marge calling Schottzie
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