Weekly MLB rankings

Last week’s ranking in parentheses

1 Rays (1) Rays can surpass Yankees provided they overcome “The Curse of Randy Winn”
2 Yankees (2) LeBron is going to cross everyone up by signing with New York … Yankees
3 Padres (7) Matt Stairs, 42, can’t believe he didn’t think of the in-game nap idea first
4 Phillies (3) Who’d a guessed “Law and Order” would be canceled before Jamie Moyer?
5 Twins (4) If Wieters is “Mauer with power,” then Mauer is “Wieters with Jeter’s salary”
6 Cardinals (5) Cards have a Carpenter and a Schumaker, but Pujols is the jack of all trades
7 Giants (6) Tim Lincecum’s UW legacy: He’s an overhanded Danielle Lawrie
8 Rangers (13) The “Stick it, A-Rod” quote by Dallas Braden’s granny adopted as team motto
9 Tigers (9) Today’s name to learn: Brennan Boesch (hitting .361 with 1.031 OPS)
10 Red Sox (12) When Daniel replaces Papelbon as closer, he’ll be “the Bard of Savin'”
11 Blue Jays (8) Where’s Pat Hentgen when you really need him?
12 Nationals (14) Tyler Clippard on pace for 33 wins. Beat that, Strasburg!
13 Reds (16) When was Johnny Bench reincarnated as Ryan Hanigan (.389 avg., .593 slugging)?
14 A’s (12) To maintain A’s perfect-game continuity, he’ll now be called Catfish Braden
15 Mets (11) Those with Jerry Manuel in “1st Manager Fired” pool will have to wait ’til next year
16 Marlins (18) After last year’s fade, Marlins need Calvin Borel for the stretch drive
17 Dodgers (25) Ethier leads all three Triple Crown categories, but length of Belmont could trip him
18 Rockies (15) Todd Helton, with 0 home runs, is on pace for 0 home runs
19 Braves (23) Cox is retiring, or in his case, declining to run for re-ejection
20 Brewers (22) No MLB boycott of ’11 All-Star Game, but Brew to extend 27-year W. Series boycott
21 Pirates (20) Farm system stocked with good young arms, soon to become mediocre old arms
22 Cubs (19) Starlin Castro first player born in ’90s in majors (unless Moyer from 1890s counts)
23 White Sox (21) Bad year for Beckhams: David has torn Achilles, Gordon hitting .193 and dropping
24 Angels (24) Still trying to replace Vladdy’s strike-zone discipline
25 Diamondbacks (17) D-backs’ bullpen ERA is 7.49, explaining why so many of their pitches fly, fly away
26 Orioles (29) If Wieters is “Mauer with power,” then Adam Jones is “Span with élan”
27 Indians (27) I’ll take the high road and resist calling struggling 1B/OF “Matt LaPorta-Potty”
28 Mariners (26) Check out the new Griffey instructional video: “Sleep Less in Seattle”
29 Astros (29) Berkman, Oswalt say they’ll waive no-trade clauses. So do Bagwell and Biggio
30 Royals (30) Trey’s stint doesn’t even qualify as an “era.” Call it the “Hillman Interruption”