Last week's rankings in parentheses Team 1 Yankees (2) Chamberlain return near; in related news, trampolines banned from clubhouse 2 Nationals...

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Last week’s rankings in parentheses

1 Yankees (2) Chamberlain return near; in related news, trampolines banned from clubhouse
2 Nationals (3) Will I ever tire of dragging out Harper’s quote? That’s a clown question, bro
3 Rangers (1) Ron Washington could break out in hives at sight of David Freese in KC
4 Pirates (11) Bedard’s curveball no longer is 12-6. It’s more half past 11-quarter to 5
5 Angels (4) Scientists believe they’ve found “God particle” — playing CF for Angels
6 White Sox (8) Nonsense-spewing announcer Hawk Harrelson to have his own Babblehead
7 Mets (7) Mets OF to star in new comedy: “Duda, where’s my car?”
8 Dodgers (12) Dodgers’ first-half grade as shortstop has surgery on thumb: Dee minus
9 Giants (5) Madison Bumgarner’s last name makes it too easy for fans if he ever slumps
10 Reds (9) Best fastballs going: Aroldis Chapman, Stephen Strasburg, Venus Williams
11 Orioles (6) Orioles land Thome, now set their sighs on Zack Greinke
12 Cardinals (14) Reds irate when La Russa picks next All-Star sub from Memphis Redbirds
13 Braves (15) Braves want pennant race to end like last episode of “Sopranos” … with cut to black
14 A’s (20) Bob Melvin suffers from Harperphobia: fear of clown questions
15 Indians (18) This year, Kipnis > Kinsler, but he’s one of the leading All-Star snubs
16 Rays (13) Hideki Matsui (.175 average, .495 OPS) could be nearing end of the line
17 Red Sox (10) Gunning for Guinness Record for largest stockpile of major-league outfielders
18 Tigers (21) Austin Jackson best player named after two cities since Orlando Merced
19 Blue Jays (17) It might take longer than normal this year for annual Jays-Orioles battle for last
20 Marlins (22) Stanton having surgery to remove “loose body” from knee. No idea how it fit
21 Diamondbacks (16) Justin Upton either the straw that stirs the drink or breaks the camel’s back
22 Royals (19) Royals want All-Star Game to be for home-field advantage in 2016 World Series
23 Brewers (24) Where’s Mark Loretta when you really need him?
24 Twins (27) Twins writers are starting to call him George Herman Plouffe
25 Phillies (23) Ryan Howard’s return could fuel Phillies’ rally to fourth place
26 Cubs (30) Cubs have been playing the Futures Game since 1908
27 Padres (29) Padres-Mariners rivalry might be first one called off on account of mutual ineptitude
28 Mariners (26) Like George Costanza, Mariners’ batting averages experiencing shrinkage
29 Rockies (28) Rockies offer to trade their humidor to Seattle for marine layer to be named later
30 Astros (25) Astros holding a “Moving To AL West, Everything Must Go” sale
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