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Last week’s ranking in parentheses

1 Boston (1) If Coco thinks Mariner Moose was trouble, wait till he’s stalked by a jealous Mr. Met
2 Angels (2) That wasn’t a vermin infestation; it was the unveiling of the new “Rally Rats”
3 Yankees (6) Yankees call up pitcher Joba (pronounced Jaba) Chamberlain (pronounced The Hutt)
4 Arizona (7) Who’da thunk ex-M’s manager closest to World Series would be Melvin, not Piniella
5 Mets (3) Glavine wins 300th, and no one got bloodied retrieving the ball
6 Cleveland (4) Some think Sabathia could be next 300-game winner … or next 300-pound winner
7 Seattle (8) Bad week for Dow Jones industrial average. Good week for Adam Jones batting avg.
8 Atlanta (10) You could say the Braves are in a real dogfight, but that’s not wise in Atlanta
9 Detroit (5) Tigers starting to look like their old selves — their 2003 old selves, that is
10 San Diego (13) Wretched excess aside, David Wells will go down as one of the better lefties ever
11 Philadelphia (14) Iguchi hitting .377 in Utley’s spot; how do you say “Wally Pipp” in Japanese?
12 Colorado (15) Rockies score 19 against Brewers; Shanahan asks for offensive pointers
13 Milwaukee (12) Most unsettling time in Milwaukee since Arnold’s Drive-In burned down
14 Cubs (9) With Theriot and Fontenot, Cubs are America’s team, and France’s, too
15 Minnesota (16) Good guy Rondell White leaning toward retirement at year’s end
16 Toronto (17) Wonder if Josh Towers yelled “ha!” to distract A-Rod before he drilled him?
17 Dodgers (11) LA and SF make first trade in 20 years: Mark Sweeney for starlet to be named later
18 Oakland (20) Canseco’s next book claims A’s elephant used performance-enhancing peanuts
19 St. Louis (19) Steve Blass Disease got Ankiel before; let’s hope he avoids Steve Balboni Disease
20 White Sox (22) Bobby Jenks (38 straight batters retired) is in fourth inning of his 2nd perfect game
21 Washington (27) Mike Bacsik is supposed to be doomed, but he sure seems to be handling it well
22 Florida (21) Marlins activate off DL most melodic new name of season: Alejandro De Aza
23 Baltimore (18) Not true that the Orioles are trying to get Anna Benson through waivers
24 San Francisco (26) The long national nightmare is over, but still reason to watch Giants: Tim Lincecum
25 Houston (25) Battle for worst team in Texas will go right down to the wire
26 Kansas City (24) Kauffman has 36-minute power outage Tuesday; Royals’ power outage hits 15 years
27 Texas (23) Where’s Rusty Greer when you really need him?
28 Cincinnati (28) Reds pinning hopes on former Mariner outfielder … but enough about Jason Ellison
29 Pittsburgh (29) Pirates will be conducting a seminar advising teams on how to be “spoilers”
30 Tampa Bay (30) Hate to say it, but Carl Crawford deserves better than the Devil Rays
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