Last week's rankings in parentheses Team 1 Nationals (1) Bryce Harper putting up excellent numbers with bros in clowning position 2 Reds...

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Last week’s rankings in parentheses

1 Nationals (1) Bryce Harper putting up excellent numbers with bros in clowning position
2 Reds (2) Congratulations, Homer Bailey on (yawn) another no-hitter
3 Rangers (3) Rangers’ favorite font is neither Helvetica nor Futura; it’s Wilmer Font
4 Orioles (4) Never mind MVP; closest race is Showalter vs. Melvin for Manager of Year
5 Giants (5) Melky won’t play in postseason; Bonds, however, welcome at old-timer games
6 Braves (7) Chipper Jones’ son Shea, named after stadium, now known as Citi Field Jones
7 Yankees (6) Myopic Yankees fans have already forgotten Ichiro used to play for another team
8 A’s (8) To reward A’s for great play, Beane reduces cost of soft drinks in clubhouse
9 Rays (11) Rays are suddenly the world’s biggest Mariners fans for the rest of this season
10 Angels (9) Trout is overwhelming MVP choice of the Bill James crowd
11 Tigers (14) Cabrera is overwhelming MVP choice of the Bill Rigney crowd
12 Cardinals (12) Rather than 1-game playoff, Cards want wild cards to play four-ball match
13 White Sox (10) If Guillen were still in charge, Sox fade would have launched a thousand tirades
14 Brewers (13) Selig relieved to see Don Fehr in a work stoppage not involving him at all
15 Dodgers (16) Kemp’s really going to have to finish strong to reach predicted 50-50 mark
16 Phillies (15) Phillies scrap plan to try Chase Utley at third base
17 Diamondbacks (17) Justin Upton Derby will be major offseason focus for Hot Stovers
18 Padres (18) Where’s Nate Colbert when you really need him?
19 Mariners (19) Rather than move in fences, M’s hire Maury Wills to chalk the batter’s box
20 Pirates (21) For even bigger tease next year, Pirates will win first 80 games, lose final 82
21 Mets (24) Despite terrible start, Ike Davis reaches 30 home runs
22 Red Sox (22) Cherington has narrowed candidates to 4 … but oops, no decision yet on Bobby
23 Blue Jays (23 If Farrell moves to Red Sox, don’t be surprised if Wakamatsu gets Jays’ job
24 Royals (20) Replacement refs want it known that Denkinger got it right
25 Marlins (26) Seahawk refs rule that Goofus and Gallant have simultaneous possession of Ozzie
26 Twins (25) Nishioka leaves $3.25 million on table; Twins trade table to Yankees
27 Indians (27) Sandy Alomar Jr. plans to hire Albert Belle as scowling coach
28 Rockies (29) The Rockies may crumble, Gibraltor may tumble, but Todd Helton’s here to stay
29 Cubs (28) (Darwin) Barney’s theme: “I love you, you love me, too bad you hit like Manny Lee”
30 Astros (30) Eager new manager Bo Porter already tinkering with 2018 playoff rotation
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