Now that’s what you call a quick snap count.
Shane Vereen, New England’s versatile running back, is out at least two months after breaking his wrist — on the very first play of the season.
• At TheOnion.com: “Dallas Cowboys halftime show features execution of Texas prisoner.”
- With death on table, McEnroe jury's friendships crumbled
- To retire at 55 takes big savings
- Microsoft employees -- past and present -- look back over the years
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• At SportsPickle.com: “Wallace angry at coach for not teaching him how to get open.”
A Nebraska teen told authorities he saw a creature near the Platte River that was 7 feet tall, hairy — and fast.
No kidding there: When last seen disappearing into the brush, Bigfoot was pulling away from nine SEC football recruiters.
A-Rod of dead weight
According to a new study, 78 percent of Americans say they’d benefit from losing some weight.
Yankees GM Brian Cashman, for one, would certainly love to drop about 225 pounds.
Say no to that, too
“A man claiming to be Lamar Odom’s drug dealer said in an interview that he gave cocaine to Odom,” noted Greg Cote of the Miami Herald. “Friends, do not do drugs. But if you must, avoid dealers who give interviews.”
From Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com: “What should be the mascot for the Tokyo Games in 2020?
“c) Let them fight it out and may the best monster win.”
LeBron James says he has “absolutely no idea” what he’ll do when he has the chance to test free agency in 2014.
But give him Jim Gray and an hour to think about it …
Talking the talk
• Gamecocks coach Steve Spurrier, not feeling the hate from Georgia fans like he did at Florida: “It’s hard for Georgia to really get mad at South Carolina. They’ve got so many teams they’re mad at or are mad at them.”
• Comedy writer Alan Ray, after Tokyo won the rights to host the 2020 Olympics: “Sprinter Tyson Gay sees this as a positive. No, wait a minute — that’s his drug test.”
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on a sure sign it’s football season again: “NFL players say they’re glad to be off ‘Cops’ and back on ‘NFL Live.’ ”
Dennis Rodman says he will coach the North Korean basketball team.
In honor of Kim Jong-il, they’ll play the Demilitarized Zone Defense.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org