Licking Heights? No kidding. The Ohio high school bearing that name put a 65-0 baseball shellacking on Columbus' Harvest Prep, in just three...

Licking Heights? No kidding.

The Ohio high school bearing that name put a 65-0 baseball shellacking on Columbus’ Harvest Prep, in just three innings. The game, mercifully, was called due to darkness before the 10-run mercy rule — which requires five innings — could take effect.

Winning coach Jeff Boyer says he offered to have his players make intentional outs, but the home-plate umpire said no.

“He said he didn’t want it to be a travesty of a game,” Boyer told The Sporting News. “And I’m thinking, ‘We’re already there.’ “

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• At “FBI: ‘We became suspicious of Jimmy Haslam when he showed interest in owning the Cleveland Browns.’ “

• At “Mike D’Antoni excited to finally have chance to coach Lakers.”

Two quoters’ worth

Newcastle United fan Barry Rogerson, caught on video punching a police horse in a postgame riot, told the London Mirror:

a) “I reacted stupidly. I did not go out to attack a horse.”

b) “Mongo love Newcastle United.”

False start

Ever hear of a quarterback getting sacked by his own blindside hit?

Tweeted Donovan McNabb, after the Cowboys forked over a $108 million contract extension to Tony Romo: “Wow, really, with one playoff win? You got to be kidding me.”

That lone victory came against the Eagles — quarterbacked by McNabb.

Film quiz

The in-the-works movie “Draft Day” stars Kevin Costner as:

a) a fictional Cleveland Browns general manager.

b) a lovestruck teen named Mel Kiper Jr., who lands “a second-round steal with a lot of upside” as a prom date.

Talking the talk

• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, after Adam Scott won the Masters with Tiger Woods’ former caddie, Stevie Williams, on the bag: “Is it just me or have you, too, noticed that all of Tiger’s exes seem to be doing pretty well for themselves?”

• Golfer John Daly, via Twitter, looking forward to his 50th birthday: ” ‘Save The Date’ April 28, 2016 — Senior Tour, here I come … “

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the TV watcher who phoned in Tiger Woods’ rules violation: “The viewer was not identified, but I’m pretty sure it’s the same kid who used to tell the teacher she forgot to assign homework.”

• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, surprised that Tim Tebow is still a New York Jet: “Apparently he’s harder to give away than a used mattress.”

Bucking the odds

The Milwaukee Bucks, the only team with a losing record in this year’s NBA playoffs, are 400-to-1 longshots to win the championship.

Assuming, of course, they manage to get past North Carolina A&T in the play-in game.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or