Hark, the Howard angels sing? An Orlando Magic fan's snarky Christmas carol, from Mike Bianchi of The Orlando Sentinel: "I'm dreaming of...
Hark, the Howard angels sing?
An Orlando Magic fan’s snarky Christmas carol, from Mike Bianchi of The Orlando Sentinel:
“I’m dreaming of a Dwight Christmas,
“Just like the ones L.A. now knows,
- Seahawks agree to contract extension with quarterback Russell Wilson
- Dustin Ackley trade symbolizes continuing dark days of Mariners
- Man shot dead in South Seattle while on phone with mom
- Higher wages a surprising success for Seattle restaurant Ivar's
- Surviving Seattle’s sidewalks: Pedestrian rage rises as the population grows
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“Where the players conspired,
“To get the coach fired,
“While hitting only 47 percent of his free throws!”
“Fiscal Cliff” is:
a) The economic game of chicken being played between Republicans and Democrats.
b) The dude in accounting the Mariners blame whenever they don’t sign a big-bucks free agent.
Don’t kick the tires
Hitting the proverbial rookie wall shouldn’t be a problem when Giants running back David Wilson finally makes his first NFL start — in Week 15.
“I haven’t been in for my oil change yet,” Wilson told The New York Times. “I don’t need one.”
Down & out in L.A.
“Everybody I run into is talking about the end of the world,” noted TNT’s Conan O’Brien. “They’re not believers in the Mayan apocalypse. They’re Laker fans.”
Watch your head
Rutgers suspended basketball coach Mike Rice for three games and fined him $50,000 for, among other things, throwing balls at players’ heads during practice, but the news isn’t all bad.
Stanford just offered him $500,000 to start an intramural dodgeball program.
A Kelseyville (Calif.) High School assistant wrestling coach peeled away from the team caravan en route to a match and nabbed a drunken wrong-way driver’s keys until police arrived, the Lake County Record-Bee reported.
Just think of it as the long arm bar of the law.
• New Colorado football coach Mike MacIntyre, pointing to his wife, Trisha, during his introductory news conference: “Looking at her, you can definitely tell I can recruit.”
• Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, after a Glendale, Ariz., church invoked Luke 18:27 to offer hope to the hapless Cardinals: “That’s fine, but do they know about Seahawks 58:0?”
Referees from the flag-happy Pac-12 Conference have been chosen to officiate the BCS Championship Game between Notre Dame and Alabama on Jan. 7.
Oddsmakers immediately reset the over-under — for penalties, that is — at 43.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org