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Meet Doc Rivers’ new PR man.

Jeremiah Rivers, the son of the new Clippers coach, lashed out at ESPN analyst Bill Simmons for criticizing his father last week, writing on Twitter, “You are a Internet bully. There is a reason nobody will side with you. They like my dad better than you.”

Rivers went on to say his dad could do more push-ups than Simmons and would totally win an arm-wrestling contest.


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The Minnesota Twins gave Yankees reliever Mariano Rivera a chair made of broken bats as a preretirement gift on Wednesday.

The Miami Marlins, not to be outdone, reportedly presented Rivera with a superchair made out of all the empty seats from their stadium.


• At “A Canadian athlete has been suspended for doping in the ever competitive, physically challenging, grueling sport of Curling. Wait… what?”

• At “Justin Upton Realizes He’s Been At Bat For 4 Hours.”

Escaping the jam

Minor-league pitcher Brian Read of the Seacoast (N.H.) Mavericks had to have surgery on Monday after a chunk of hot dog got lodged in his throat during a seventh-inning-stretch eating contest.

Read apparently took his batting coach’s advice to choke up waaay too seriously.

Talko Time

• Greg Cote, of The Miami Herald, on Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez exposing his backside in a homemade Internet video: “Remember the good old days when Mark’s biggest embarrassments occurred on a football field?”

• writer Brian Phillips, on Twitter: “The tennis ‘c’mon!’ is so addictive. I’m at the point where I’m doing it between individual sips of grape juice.”

Shrug it off

The Boston Bruins’ Patrice Bergeron reportedly started Game 6 of the Stanley Cup with a broken rib, suffered a separated shoulder during the contest, then found he had a punctured lung during a postgame examination.

“Knowing hockey players,” wrote Ian Hamilton of the Regina (Saskatchewan) Leader-Post, “his most painful injury likely was the cut he suffered while shaving off his playoff beard.”

Turn on the fan

This week’s heat wave broke Puget Sound records, prompting the city of Seattle to offer cooling centers in several city facilities around town.

City officials said the most surefire way to stay cool, however, was by being in the Mariners’ lineup.

Joel Petterson:

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