Sideline Chatter

Nathan Spoon-Kanner? Just call him Ace.

The 22-year-old college student hit three holes-in-one in 45 days, the third coming last Monday at Casserly Golf Course in Watsonville, Calif. The shots covered 88, 180 and 112 yards.

“I’m nothing more than an average golfer,” he told the Santa Cruz Sentinel. “I’m just teeing in on the greens. It’s a pretty amazing feeling.”

The odds of hitting just a single hole-in-one? One in 12,000.

Headlines

• At Fark.com: “Computer simulation says Broncos will defeat Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX, Dewey will defeat Truman.”

• At SportsPickle.com: “NASCAR in talks with Dale Jr. and Danica Patrick to conceive a super-marketable baby.”

Dunking do-nots

Saints tight end Jimmy Graham faces possible unsportsmanlike-conduct fines of $11,025 and $22,050 for dunking the ball over the goal post to celebrate his two touchdown catches in Friday’s exhibition game.

Hey, if the NBA ever decided to implement cash penalties for dunks, we could retire the national debt.

Hey, butter, butter

“To commemorate the 25th anniversary of ‘Field of Dreams,’ the Iowa State Fair is displaying a 200-pound butter sculpture of Kevin Costner,” noted NBC’s Jimmy Fallon. “Or as Paula Deen put it, ‘If you build it . . . I will come.’ ”

They bobbled this one

The Tigers handed out 10,000 Miguel Cabrera bobblehead dolls Friday night, depicting the slugger holding two National League MVP awards.

Hey, don’t laugh: Miggy did hit .391 in interleague play last season.

Mustn’t-see TV

Bengals backup QB Matt Scott vomited twice on the field in his team’s exhibition opener against the Chiefs.

“We’re in Week 1 of the preseason,” complained Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, “and I already regret buying that high-definition big-screen TV.”

Talko time

• Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com, not shedding a tear for the pending demise of the Bowl Championship Series: “Do you ever remember anybody wearing BCS gear? In public? On purpose? Didn’t think so.”

• RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, after Knicks star Carmelo Anthony said he wants to become “a facilitator”: “Imagine Nero saying he wanted to be a firefighter.”

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, with a quickie scouting report on Cash Money, brother of Tennessee Little Leaguer Blake Money: “Never takes check swings.”

• Blogger TC Chong, after Browns rookie QB Johnny Manziel was late for a team meeting: “Yes, he’s now Johnny-come-lately.”

Bad news bare

France’s Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad won the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the European Track & Field Championships — only to be disqualified because he took off his shirt before he reached the finish line and waved it in celebration.

Guess you could say he stripped himself of this gold medal.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com