So why is the Scripps National Spelling Bee on ESPN? "You'd think something like this would be on The Learning Channel," noted CBS's Craig...

So why is the Scripps National Spelling Bee on ESPN?

“You’d think something like this would be on The Learning Channel,” noted CBS’s Craig Ferguson. “Then again, you’d think The Learning Channel wouldn’t show ‘Honey Boo Boo.’ “

Score it an error

High-school yearbook typo of the year: A family’s tribute to its ballplaying graduate that reads “Congrats to Our Home Run Hitler.”

Quickie scouting report: bats reich, throws reich.

Fowling out

The NBA suspended Heat forward Chris “Birdman” Andersen for Game 6 against the Pacers for a flagrant:

a) foul

b) overuse of body ink.

Wrong court

Ron Holmes, the father of ex-UCLA basketball star Shabazz Muhammad, has been indicted on federal bank fraud and conspiracy charges.

As for possible years in prison, legal wags say, he’ll be lucky to get a one-and-done.

Football 1, Golf 0

Next year’s NFL draft has been pushed back to May — on the same weekend as The Players Championship.

“Translation: Nobody is going to pay attention to one of golf’s biggest tournaments,” wrote Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel. “The TPC will be like the guy singing karaoke in the lobby of the Amway Center during the Paul McCartney concert.”

Count him in

LSU football coach Les Miles said Southeastern Conference coaches voted “unanimously” — as in 13 to 1 — to keep the conference schedule at eight games per team.

Sounds like somebody might be bucking for membership in the 14-team Big Ten.

Talko time

• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on Diamondbacks pitcher Ian Kennedy injuring a finger while doing the dishes: “He was done in by a cutter over the plate.”

• Brewers broadcaster Bob Uecker, to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, on what’s it like to have his own statue at Miller Park: “Once I get it paid off, I’ll know.”

• Michigan guard Tim Hardaway Jr., when asked if his dad had any tips for his NBA draft workouts: “I kind of go on my own. I’m somewhat of an adult now.”

• RJ Currie of, after LeBron James was fined $5,000 for flopping against the Pacers: “There’s 1 minute, 7 seconds pay he’ll never get back.”

Bear hunting

Memphis Grizzly Quincy Pondexter, the former UW Husky, landed a date with Miss Tennessee after an exchange of tweets.

Suffice it to say his heart was all a-Twitter.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or