Now that's a mound of cash. If Mariners pitcher Felix Hernandez ever wanted to stack the proceeds of his new $175 million contract ...
Now that’s a mound of cash.
If Mariners pitcher Felix Hernandez ever wanted to stack the proceeds of his new $175 million contract — one crisp $1 bill every second — it would take him more than 5 ½ years to finish.
And his pile of ones would be nearly 12 miles high!
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The NBA suspended Orlando forward Hedo Turkoglu for 20 games after he tested positive for steroids.
Serves his coaches right for telling him to take it strong to the basket.
• At Fark.com: “IOC president to meet with head of wrestling’s governing body to discuss how big of a bribe is needed to save its Olympic status.”
• At TheOnion.com: “NBA fines Hornets $200,000 for not playing star players in any games this season.”
Golfer 1, Spider 0
Swedish golfer Daniela Holmqvist used a tee to drain out the venom — and finish her round — after a deadly spider got her on the leg at an LPGA tournament qualifier in Australia.
Coincidence? Holmqvist’s approach shots suddenly had a lot more bite to them.
Upping his allowance
Talk about getting handsomely paid for playing a kids’ game.
The Baltimore Ravens could be poised to tell QB Joe Flacco “Tag, you’re it” — and hand him $14.6 million.
Bumping it outside
The NFL, saying players keep getting bigger and faster, has formed a committee to study making the playing field wider.
Apparently Packer foes complained it’s getting tougher and tougher to run around B.J. Raji and stay inbounds.
Half-dressed for success
Maybe it was just a production oversight, but SI swimsuit cover model Kate Upton forgot to put her top on this year.
• Steve Watts of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, after golfer Vijay Singh was the butt of jokes at last week’s AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am over his use of deer-antler spray: “It doesn’t help that Singh, who hasn’t won on the PGA Tour since 2008, is in a rut.”
• Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, after four Alabama football players were arrested in connection with two armed robberies: “Parole Tide.”
• CBS’s David Letterman, on Westminster Kennel Club perks: “The winner of the dog show gets a beautiful blue ribbon and a toilet full of champagne.”
Cellblock and tackle
O.J. Simpson held a Super Bowl viewing party in his Nevada prison cell, the New York Post reported.
Alas, unlike the game, The Juice couldn’t go out in the third quarter.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com