Dwight Freeney just joined the Russell Wilson Fan Club.

“I had no idea how fast he was. I had no idea,” the Chargers’ defensive end told San Diego’s KLSD Radio after the Seahawks QB twice eluded his grasp in last week’s exhibition opener. “By the time I got after the bull rush, I’m looking for this guy. He’s like 5-3, 5-4, whatever he is, and I can’t find him.

“By the time I find him I was like, ‘Oh, here goes a sack.’ Next thing you know, ‘Oh, no’ and I’m chasing him. He’s a fast, crafty guy.”


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• At TheOnion.com: “Jamaal Charles leaves medical examination early after hurting foot in MRI machine.”

• At SportsPickle.com: “America’s youth announce they’re quitting sports: ‘We have no role models.’ ”

High and Dry Dept.

Here’s hoping that Iowa — named the nation’s No. 1 party school — gets paired up against Brigham Young, which again came in dead last, in a postseason football game.

Talk about a bowl marketer’s dream: BYU vs. BYOB.

Hair apparent

Promoter Don King was one of 19 charter members inducted into the Nevada Boxing Hall of Fame.

Making him the first person ever enshrined by both boxing and Weed-Wacker.

Sports quiz

Redskins running back Alfred Morris is getting “Bentley,” his beloved 1991 Mazda 626, refurbished to factory-floor conditions free of charge by:

a) The Mazda Motor Corp.

b) Dr. James Andrews

KO’d in Miami

Lots of luck trying to pawn this stolen ring.

Weekend thieves gutted Miami Beach’s famous 5th St. Gym, taking the boxing canvas, ropes, turnbuckles — everything.

Law & Disorder

“The NCAA agreed to stop selling the jerseys of college football players whom they’re investigating for selling their own jerseys,” pointed out comedian Argus Hamilton. “How dare the players profit? In other news, six runaways were caught just before they got to Canada and were returned to summer practice.”

Talking the talk

• Dan Steinberg of The Washington Post, listing the seventh of seven obscure facts about Terrapins deep-snapper Greg Parcher: “He’s conducted one interview during five years at Maryland. And this was it.”

• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on the Dolphins’ apparent problems at left tackle: “I don’t wanna says it’s a bad situation, but I hear the team’s solution is to quietly teach (Ryan) Tannehill to throw left-handed.”

• TNT’s Conan O’Brien, after Alex Rodriguez hit his first home run of 2013 on the same day as the season premiere of “Breaking Bad”: “It was a big day for drug dealers.”

• Tom Shatel of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after Louisville banned its players from signing autographs at Fan Day: “Thank you very little, Johnny Manziel.”

Loss on the play

Retired Chargers star LaDainian Tomlinson, trying to sell his 9,565-square-foot home in Poway, Calif., since 2011, has slashed his original asking price from $5.21 million to $3.75 million.

Veteran NFL-watchers say they’ve never seen a running back so eager to lose a yard before.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com