Michael Carter, from the sound of it, isn't much of a soccer fan. Carter, 64, disgruntled by the noise coming from the loudspeakers at a high-school game next door, barged into...

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Michael Carter, from the sound of it, isn’t much of a soccer fan.


Carter, 64, disgruntled by the noise coming from the loudspeakers at a high-school game next door, barged into Legions Field in Lake Wales, Fla., without paying and stormed into the press box, the Lakeland Ledger reported.


Then he yanked out the electrical power cord that feeds the public-address system and took it home with him.


Carter, 64, has been charged with burglary and petty theft, but it could have been worse. At least he wasn’t charged with admission to the game.


You shouldn’t have


Among the items on the Christmas shopping list of AOL’s Jim Armstrong:


• “Johnny Damon: A razor. On second thought, make it a hedge trimmer.


• “Eli Manning: A windbreaker to keep him warm in his brother’s shadow.


• “George Steinbrenner: The Red Sox’s 2004 highlight video.


• “Dick Vitale: An unplugged microphone.


• “Ricky Williams: A lifetime supply of Duncan Hines brownie mix.


• “Red Sox Nation: Nothing. You’ve already gotten everything you asked for.”


Four-time winner


David Pollack, Georgia’s All-American defensive end, has been doing the postseason awards circuit, accompanied by his longtime girlfriend, to collect the Lombardi Award in Houston, the Chuck Bednarik Award in Orlando, Fla., and the Ronnie Lott Trophy in Newport Beach, Calif.


At the middle stop, he even found time to pop the question to Lindsey Hopkins, leading an L.A. Times headline writer to ask: “Would that make her his trophy wife?”


The write stuff


• Dave Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, on Notre Dame administrator Chandra Johnson shaving her head in protest of Tyrone Willingham’s firing and vowing to remain bald until the Irish win a national championship: “Win One for the Clipper.”


• NASCAR driver Kurt Busch, on CBS’s “Late Night With David Letterman,” on one of the top 10 thoughts that crosses his mind when traveling 190 mph: “Left turn, left turn, straight, left turn, left turn, straight, left turn, left turn, straight.”


• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on the Yankees’ Jason Giambi going through steroid withdrawal: “He’s lost so much weight that his tattoos have shrunk. His snarling-leopard tattoo now looks like a gerbil with an overbite.”


• Bob Hille of The Sporting News, on the college bowl season: “My wife has threatened that if I watch as many games this year as last, she’s going to sell her naming rights.”


Bullish on the bottom line


Attendance at North America’s 50 most popular theme and amusement parks jumped for the first time in more than two years — up almost 4 percent in 2004 — according to Amusement Business magazine’s annual survey.


The Chicago Bulls, trying to take advantage of the turnstile phenomenon while staying true to their playoff chances, reportedly plan to rename their arena “Never-Never-Land.”


Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com