What, you think it's easy lining up Mike Tyson's stage show in Las Vegas? "It's all set to go," noted comedy writer Jerry Perisho, "just...

What, you think it’s easy lining up Mike Tyson’s stage show in Las Vegas?

“It’s all set to go,” noted comedy writer Jerry Perisho, “just as soon as they find someone willing to play the part of Evander Holyfield.”


• At Fark.com: “Packers sign center Saturday. They signed him on Saturday? No, Friday. Who? Saturday. What?”

Unlimited Digital Access. $1 for 4 weeks.

• At SportsPickle.com: “Failed Navy SEAL wins golf tournament.”

Saints alive

Banned for a whole year for participants’ overly aggressive behavior?

No, not Saints coach Sean Payton — the annual Easter-egg hunt in Old Colorado City, Colo.

Some get-well card

A vintage 1909 Honus Wagner baseball card could fetch $1.5 million in an online auction that ends April 19.

The most Wagner ever got paid in his Hall of Fame career? $10,000.

Pass the Tums, Tim

Carnegie Deli in New York City just unveiled its Tebow sandwich, a 3-pound monstrosity that costs $22.22.

Or, for you cost-conscious Jets fans, just order up a Rex Ryan: You simply take off your shoe, put your foot in your mouth and dab on the mustard.

Mile High clubbing

“I’m no theologian,” wrote Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, “but I’m pretty sure TV evangelist Pat Robertson offered God a bounty for a Peyton Manning cart-off.”

Some windfall

An armored car spilled on a Maryland freeway, creating what one witness called “a snow globe of cash.”

What, are the Angels on another free-agent spending spree?

Not half-bad

In a spring training outing today, Barry Zito gave up hits to nine of the 18 hitters he faced.

Which isn’t the preferred method of playing .500 ball.

Talking the talk

• David Whitley of FanHouse.com, on last weekend’s Arnold Palmer Invitational: “Cheering against Tiger Woods used to be as futile as cheering against the sun coming up. Bad news, Tiger haters. It’s time to start squinting again.”

• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, noting that the first long-distance phone call from Boston to New York was made on March 27, 1884: “The caller, I think, yelled, ‘Yankees suck.’ “

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after Sen. Dick Durbin called for an investigation of NFL bounties: “This may be a new low for the NFL: A politician from Illinois says you’re dirty.”

Paging Bobby and Sissy

Call the NCAA women’s basketball tournament boringly predictable if you want, but Lawrence Welk would’ve loved this year’s Elite Eight

Every regional final had a-one-uh and a-two-uh.

Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or dperry@seattletimes.com