What’s next, a Dallas couple naming their crying newborn Dez Bryan?
Some new parents in Green Bay, Wis., named their 8-pound arrival Aaron Rodger Dryer when father Kyle Dryer was told that the lad was born with a broken left collarbone — same as the Packer QB Aaron Rodgers’ current injury.
As the mother, Kristal Tyczkowski, told the Green Bay Press-Gazette: “I said, ‘That’s not a bad name.’ That’s when we knew.”
No way, Jose
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And from the The Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction file comes word, via San Francisco’s KRON-TV, that police pulled over ex-baseball slugger Jose Canseco’s car, only to discover:
Four goats in the back seat.
And one of them was wearing a diaper.
(A goat, not Jose.)
Let’s talk turkey
And in fitness news, reported NBC’s Jay Leno, “PETA says today’s turkeys are so fat, they can’t stand up, they’re prone to heart attacks, and they have trouble mating.
“No, I’m sorry, that’s what the turkeys are saying about us. I had it backward.”
Football coach Urban Meyer called the Bowl Championship Series “a flawed system” in:
• 2013, when his third-ranked Ohio State squad sits on the outside looking in.
• 2006 and 2008, when his Florida teams qualified for — and won — the title game.
Pass the stuffing
Butterball, the country’s No. 1 turkey producer, says there’s a shortage of plus-sized Thanksgiving birds this year.
WADA, simply out of habit, chalked it up to stricter PED testing.
• Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel, after Colts linebacker Erik Walden was suspended one game for ripping a Titan’s helmet off and head-butting him: “But in Walden’s defense, at least he was bullying someone on the other team.”
• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, trying to put a positive spin on an angry Alex Rodriguez storming out of his MLB drug hearing: “It was A-Rod’s first ‘walk-off’ in recent memory.”
• Headline at Fark.com: “A-Rod storms out of arbitration hearing, believes process to be bigger farce than his career.”
• Patriots QB Tom Brady, to reporters, when asked if he had any final thoughts on Monday night’s controversional finish: “No final thoughts. My mom thought it was a penalty. Does that count?”
Lazy Boys of Summer
Jay-Z, trying to land free agent Robinson Cano a free-agent windfall, described his second-base client as a “Michael Jordan kind of athlete.”
What, Jordan wouldn’t run out ground balls to first, either?
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org