The good news: The University of Washington lands Boise State coach Chris Petersen.
The bad news: Is Seattle really ready for a purple football field?
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• At SportsPickle.com: “NFL announces December is NFL Merchandise Awareness Month.”
• At TheOnion.com: “New England Patriots now using drones to take out offensive threats.”
Did the suddenly woebegone Houston Texans really fire coach Gary Kubiak, or did they simply commute his sentence?
Robinson Cano gets $240 million from the Mariners?
Looks like they’re trying to raise the maximum wage in these parts, too.
Nets coach Jason Kidd reassigned assistant Lawrence Frank — slated to make $6 million for the next six seasons — to a non-bench role because of “philosophical differences” in light of the team’s 5-13 start.
Hey, it was some great-paying coaching gig either way you slice it: $333,333 per game or $1.2 million per win.
Two birds in the hand are worth:
a) four in the bush.
b) nary a suspension at Ohio State
Twitter wars, Pacific Coast League version:
• Reno Aces, on the rival Sacramento River Cats: “Are ‘River Cats’ catfish, or amphibious cats?”
• Sacramento’s retort: “River Cats are aquatically inclined felines with extremely flexible necks, developed from looking down at Reno in the standings.”
• Mike Bianchi of the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel, on the Huskies replacing departed football coach Steve Sarkisian with Boise State’s Chris Petersen: “This is like going from a 2005 Buick LeSabre to a 2013 BMW 5-Series
• Vancouver (B.C.) comic Torben Rolfsen, after Seahawks fans broke another decibel record last Monday night: “It was so loud the Boeing flight-test facility phoned in a noise complaint.”
• Comedian Argus Hamilton, after O.J. Simpson failed to get his armed-robbery conviction overturned: “One thing is now very clear: The only thing that stays in Vegas is O.J.”
Iron and ashes
An overly exuberant celebrant rushed the field and dumped some cremated ashes near the 40-yard line after Auburn’s stunning victory over No. 1 Alabama.
Talk about hard core: Even the fans there leave it all on the field.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com