What do you get when you cross a Burress with a Brunswick? Answer: The unnamed bowler at Jupiter (Fla.) Lanes who shot himself with the...
What do you get when you cross a Burress with a Brunswick?
Answer: The unnamed bowler at Jupiter (Fla.) Lanes who shot himself with the revolver in his shorts pocket Tuesday night.
“The guy just stepped up to bowl,” witness Jim Miller told WPBF-TV. “I think he hit his leg on his backswing.”
Scorekeepers alertly credited the man with a strike (in the leg) and a split (of his pants), not to mention sparing his life.
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Taking a seat to nobody
Jackson, Miss., is the most slothful city in the U.S., according to Men’s Health magazine’s rankings.
Bottom 10? No kidding.
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Pass the mustard
A semi-truck overturned on I-271 near Richfield, Ohio, spilling hundreds of hot dogs.
Giants third baseman Pablo Sandoval immediately put in for a bereavement day.
Talking the talk
• Matt Youmans of the Las Vegas Review-Journal, after the youthful Astros had to cancel their annual player wives charity gala for lack of wives: “Maybe the Astros should sign a power-hitting polygamist.”
• Golfer Colin Montgomerie, to The Associated Press, on why fellow Hall of Famer Fred Couples is so popular: “All the women want to be with him, and all the men want to be like him.”
• CBS’s David Letterman, on the political fallout over Benghazi: “This scandal, they believe, may go as high as Dennis Rodman.”
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after the White Sox one-hit the struggling Angels: “It’s not that impressive — the Angels mustered only two hits during batting practice.”
Carry the 10 Dept.
The Big Ten announced its 2014 football schedule, with each team slated to play Ten games.
In other words, 12.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com