Probably not the next keynote speaker for the International Olympic Committee meeting: Dan Wetzel.
“For the uninitiated,” Wetzel wrote at YahooSports.com, “the IOC is about the most pointless, pretentious and, alas, profitable organization on earth.
“Take all the worst tendencies of the NCAA, add the most corrupt parts of governmental graft, add a healthy dose of Kardashian-level arrogance, quadruple everything and you get a fraction of this organization.”
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• At TheOnion.com: “Panicking Marshawn Lynch unable to deactivate Beast Mode.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “Bob Costas lost at customs.”
Kentucky football coach Mark Stoops stockpiled more than a dozen four-star recruits — or nearly the number the program landed from 2002 to 2012 combined.
The bad news? They all think they’re leaving for the NFL after their freshman season.
Peyton Bender is:
a) a three-star QB who signed with Washington State.
b) the No. 1 reason that Broncos fans were unable to get to work on Monday.
Former Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor turned 55 on Tuesday.
The best part: Getting to yell, “Hey, you kids — get off my FieldTurf.”
Among the top 10 clues Sochi isn’t ready for the Winter Olympics, from CBS’s David Letterman:
• “Electronic surveillance of hotel rooms not yet installed.
• “Don’t know which currency to accept for bribes.
• “Fans encouraged to park in Armenia.
• “Putin still undecided on what shirt not to wear.”
That’s an understatement
“John Elway says the Broncos ‘came up short’ in the Super Bowl,” noted comedy writer Tim Hunter. “In a non-related story, the Titanic may have had a leak.”
• Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on ex-NFLer Jared Lorenzen playing QB for the indoor Northern Kentucky River Monsters at 320 pounds: “Marshawn Lynch isn’t the only one who causes earthquakes when he runs.”
• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, with his Sports Name of Week Challenge: “Thai golfer Pornanong Phatlum vs. Swiss bobsledder Beat Hefti.”
• Bob Molinaro of the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot, on why the NFL shouldn’t get rid of the PAT: “Whenever a quarterback throws an interception that’s returned for a touchdown, it will have to be known as a ‘pick-seven.’ ”
Some tee shot
Forty-three years ago — on Feb. 6, 1971 — astronaut Alan Shepard hit the first golf ball on the moon.
No truth to the rumor that Gerald Ford was the one who put it there.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org