Are you ready for some March Madness basketball? Seriously ready? "Can you tell the difference between Charleston Southern (Big South Conference...
Are you ready for some March Madness basketball? Seriously ready?
“Can you tell the difference between Charleston Southern (Big South Conference) and Charleston (Southern)?” wrote Jeff Gordon of STLtoday.com. “Can you distinguish between St. Francis (Northeast) and St. Francis (Northeast)?
“(Hint: One St. Francis is in Pennsylvania, the other New York.)”
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• At TheOnion.com: “Value of U.S. dollar plummets after Joe Flacco signs NFL’s richest contract.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “Jud Buechler meets with Willy Telavi, prime minister of Tuvalu.”
Rand Paul, R-Ky., talked for nearly 13 hours straight in a Senate filibuster Wednesday night.
Big deal, pundits say: ESPN’s Mel Kiper Jr. once went 15 ½ hours breaking down the latest crop of NFL deep-snappers.
It’s been an Ice Age
Among the things that were true the last time the Blackhawks lost an NHL game, from SI.com:
• “The current Heisman Trophy holder was more than four months away from playing his first college football game.
• “No one knew what ‘Gangnam Style’ was.
• “Augusta National had no female members.
• “Twinkies still existed.”
Car, as in carcass
The Montana House approved a bill that would allow motorists to legally eat any roadkill they hit with their vehicles.
Sounds good on paper — until some poor sap gets nailed for driving without a hunting license.
Lost in translation
Just days after Dennis Rodman returned home from North Korea professing peace overtures from supreme leader Kim Jong Un, state media there issued a “thermonuclear war” threat against the U.S.
So, the next time you hear “Chamberlain” in the same sentence with Rodman, think Neville, not Wilt.
• Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after Gus Johnson was picked to call World Cup soccer games for Fox: “That’s appropriate for a guy who screams ‘GOAAAAAAAAL!’ when East Stroudsburg University basketball scores two points to climb within 25 of Tennessee Tech.”
• Mike Oz of Yahoo.com, after Red Sox pitching prospect Drake Britton was arrested for DUI: “(He) hit 111 mph on the radar gun — just not the one anybody was hoping for.”
• Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, on Powerful Yogurt marketing its new Greek “Brogurt” product in hopes of capturing the male demographic: “What, does it taste like beer?”
Basketball legend Michael Jordan, who won his last NBA title 15 year ago, has applied for a marriage license in Palm Beach, Fla.
Jordan-watchers speculate he suddenly got the itch to add another ring.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or email@example.com