So, how cold was it at Lambeau Field last Sunday?
“It was so cold,” cracked TBS’s Conan O’Brien, “the 49ers coach got a concussion when he was hit with a block of Gatorade. It was the only game in NFL history where players tackled each other just for warmth.”
• At SportsPickle.com: “Hall of Very Good opens across the street from Baseball HOF in Cooperstown to very good reviews.”
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According to several mock drafts, Texas A&M’s “Johnny Football” Manziel is expected to be snapped up by:
a) the Cleveland Browns
b) one of the Kardashian sisters
His lips are unsealed
Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch appealed — and prevailed — after the NFL fined him $50,000 for not speaking to the media.
Bet he did some fancy talking then.
Good news for ducks
The weather forecast calls for a 100 percent chance of rain for the Seahawks-Saints playoff game.
Or, as we call it in these parts, Saturday.
As The Worm turns
• CBS’s Craig Ferguson: “Dennis Rodman and the North Koreans — is this an episode of ‘Scooby-Doo’?”
• ABC’s Jimmy Fallon: “I guess after years of playing alongside Michael Jordan, Rodman is very comfortable with totalitarian dictators.”
Tooth and consequences
Scientists in Morocco, trying to pinpoint the species from the teeth of 14,000-year-old human skulls, immediately ruled out:
c) hockey players
Weakly Readers Dept.
College football coaches professed shock when a CNN study revealed that many incoming players have trouble reading:
a) at a junior-high level
b) the safeties in a cover-2 defense
• Reggie Hayes of the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel, on ticket-resale prices for this year’s BCS title game being the cheapest in seven years — $799: “You know what that means? We need a new definition for the word ‘cheap.’ ”
• NBC’s Jay Leno, after Russian President Vladimir Putin said Olympic protests would be allowed: “But only in a special protest zone — known as Siberia.”
• Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on why FIFA chose Qatar to host the 2022 World Cup: “Because Death Valley was busy.”
• Len Berman of ThatsSports.com, after Dennis Rodman sang “Happy Birthday” to North Korea’s Kim Jong Un: “It ranks No. 2 in the ‘Happy Birthday Presidential Top 10,’ right behind Marilyn.”
Wheels of fortune
Bobby Petrino — fired in disgrace by Arkansas less than two years ago — is returning for a second stint as football coach at Louisville.
Or as a cynic might say, he’s come full cycle.
Dwight Perry: 206-464-8250 or firstname.lastname@example.org