The Wrap by Ron Judd
Some people were surprised by that big “debate” (actually a non-moderated mutual spewing of fabricated talking points), in which challenger Mitt Romney, R-Obamacare, wiped the floor with President Obama, D-Valium.
All you have to do is look at the debate prep, which clearly was a bust for the Obama camp.
Before the next one, they’ve vowed to find a sparring partner a little less, well, wooden than Sen. John Kerry.
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Like the closest available cigar-store Indian.
Not That the President Looked Tired or Anything: But you couldn’t help notice when, an hour into the debate, CNN replaced its “undecided voters” trend line with a graph showing Obama’s current Sleep Number.
Reality Check: What the debate really needed was more hard-hitting questions from America’s savviest journalists. Like CNN’s chief simpleton correspondent John King reprising his landmark GOP-debate performance by asking Romney: “Coke or Pepsi?”
Will the Last Person Leaving Seattle Please Turn off the Sprinkler: OK, it was cute for a while. But this relentless drought is starting to freak us out. If we wanted to live in a Godforsaken desert, we would all move to Yakima.
Seriously: It’s so dry, people in Laurelhurst are on an emergency every-other-day Chihuly-spritzing schedule.
Central Casting: Like most people, Mr. Wrap was a little surprised to hear about the guy who shot himself in the head with a ricocheting .22-caliber bullet while “fishing” for salmon in a local river. Then he saw that it happened in Thurston County.
One More on That: The sheriff’s report noted that the bullet that hit this streamside genius in the head fell into the river when he scratched the wound. Good thing he was fishing with barbless ammo.
You Can’t Buy Press Like This: We’re betting All Nippon Airways and Boeing were really happy they summoned all those TV cameras for the arrival of the first ANA 787 from Tokyo — only to see it fail to make its return flight because of a mechanical problem. Two words the airline biz loves most: stranded passengers.
Speaking of Air Torture: American Airlines took the a la carte approach to flying to new heights by letting passengers decide if they wanted to pay a $50-per-seat-bolt upgrade fee, or stick with the standard coach-class Velcro strip.
Fly, Fly A-Near!: The Mariners have announced plans to move the outfield fences in Safeco Field closer to home plate. If that doesn’t achieve desired results, they plan to petition Major League Baseball to allow their batters to hit off a tee.
Why Oh My: We’re no experts, but it seems to us it’d be faster and cheaper to fix the team by skipping the pretense of moving the fences in and simply move club President Chuck Armstrong and CEO Howard Lincoln out.
And Finally: Great to see the MV Ivar Haglund move one step closer to launch, as the name of the local chowder-teer — thanks to thousands of heck-yes! votes from true locals — passed the first hurdle with the state Transportation Commission, which will make a decision on naming the state’s two newest ferries next month. Stay tuned.
Ron Judd’s column appears each Sunday. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org