Bacon coffins, somebody's old teeth, Martha Stewart. Hey, it's Halloween!

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It was hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk the day Goddess spied the Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins packed among the floodwall of Halloween candy at the store. But even in the August heat, her little heart skipped a beat. A smile could not be suppressed. Oh, boy! Halloween!

She meant it then, and she means it now.

They’re creepy and they’re kooky

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Who says there isn’t anything to do in Pioneer Square anymore? Get a sandwich at Salumi and step into the joint next door, The Belfry, 309A Third Ave. S.

Goddess, on a recent visit, stumbled from a taxidermied goat, past a wall of crucifixes, around a gas mask and almost right on top of a coffin, a really old coffin, a used coffin. Guy behind the counter says, “We’re out of bats. But we should have some more in tomorrow.” She hadn’t asked.

But they do always have some kind of a dead-and-dried menagerie encased in Lucite, like an octopus ($62) or longhorn spotted beetle ($18) or a set of choppers, seen here. What home can do without?

Christian and Jessica Harding, Ballardians and Belfry owners, describe The Belfry as a unique store “offering a variety of visually interesting items from the mysterious and macabre to the beautiful and intriguing. We specialize in Victorian-era mourning pieces, vintage taxidermy, human and animal bones and other items which reflect the fantastic realm of natural history … “Boy, howdy.

… mysterious and spooky

I. Well, I … I just can’t do it better than the news release, and I shan’t even try.

“Hey. I thought you might like this. J&D’s Foods is pleased to announce the launch of Bacon Coffins. Yes, the world’s first bacon-wrapped casket … J&D’s Bacon Coffin is for those who love bacon to death. You ate bacon, you decorated your body with bacon, your car with bacon and your home with bacon. (Goddess says what?) And now, you can peacefully rest wrapped in bacon.

“Bacon Coffins are finished with a painted Bacon and Pork shading and accented with gold stationary handles. The interior has an adjustable bed and mattress, a bacon memorial tube and is completed in ivory crepe coffin linens.

“FACT: Approximately 56 million people die per year worldwide, 2.4 million in the U.S. alone — 99 percent of whom loved bacon.”

Bacon Coffins are $2,999.95, plus shipping and handling at

Brought to you by J&D’s Foods of Seattle, home of many things bacon. Kahunas there are Justin and Dave, “bacontrepreneurs.”

As of “dead”line, one had been sold.

They’re altogether ooky

Boo! in! fine! porcelain! These freaky little guys are from Lladró Atelier‘s series The Guest. A porcelain tchotchke’s a porcelain tchotchke, but take a gander. Spanish artist-designer Jaime Hayón, with American artist Tim Biskup and Japanese studio Devilrobots.

Price? This is the really scary part: $775 to $2,800 per. Collect the set!

… the Martha Stewart family!

A tip of the witch’s hat to Martha, our woman on the front line of fall. New ghostly white pumpkin products: the Martha Stewart Collection Pumpkin Tureen with Ladle (all of which you are required by Martha law to say every time you refer to it), $100. And the Martha Stewart Collection Pumpkin Salt and Pepper Shakers, $28. At select Macy’s stores and’s hoping the Macy’s you frequent is “select.”

Reach out to The Goddess at The Goddess is also very Pinteresting. Find her there at

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