Tattoo your toilet, buy a bobblehead that looks a lot like your mother-in-law or disguise a gift in a box of hilarity.
Why, here we are already on the eve of April fooling aroundness. Goddess is all about making merry. Could use more of that kind of thing in this world, if you ask her. She’s been saving these promises of high hilarity for this very occasion. Hang onto your funny bone.
One tattoo to go, please
Goddess does not wish to appear lazy, but when the pitch is, well, pitch perfect, what’s a potentate to do? “Transform your toilet lid in seconds. Uniquely decorative toilet tattoos make bathrooms flush with Beauty.”
Oh, please, do go on. “Will add a creative new decorating touch to bathrooms and restrooms worldwide.” World. Wide.
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“For years, the only toilet decorating options were the dreaded rug-like covers that Grandma used or the more permanent decorative seat. But now a new concept in toilet décor called Toilet Tattoos is aimed at satisfying today’s modern need for an easy, quick and changeable decorating solution.”
In-depth professional-type interview with inventor Celeste Massullo in Ohio reveals, “On average there are three toilets in a house.” And, “it’s artwork for your toilet.” This toilet-sticker thing is a veritable gold mine.
OK, real information: Toilet Tattoos are removable, reusable, come in round and elongated. Loads of designs (aside from the best-seller Monkey Business).
Can also order with original paintings or photographs. Imagine!
Getting a head of ourselves
Don’t you sometimes wish that you had a little bobbling-headed doll that looked just like you? Or your husband? Or your dog?
Well. Now. You. Can! At www.allbobbleheads.com, one is limited only by one’s imagination: bobblehead bride and groom, family “portrait,” the family pet … Goddess could go on, and will. During copious journalistic research she also found William and Kate The Royal Wedding on sale for $49, the Michael Jackson bobblehead and Pamela Anderson (don’t ask). They’ve got everybody from Pope John Paul II to Bob Marley to Abraham Lincoln to, wait for it, Billy Graham!
The company, outta Longgg Eyeland, N.Y., is no fly-by-night bobbleheader. They’ve been in the business since 1998. “We are passionate about custom bobbleheads,” say they. Custom orders vary; about $85 up to $180 or so.
The testimonials section of the website is jampacked with tickled customers. Jacob from Tucson writes, “I received my bobblehead yesterday. I gave it to my fiancée. SHE LOVED IT!”
Merry pranksters, be glad
Get ‘em good with Prank Pack. Motto: Genuine fake gift boxes. That’s it. That’s the whole gag. But done well, Goddess must say.
With Prank Pack your tasteful gift will be hidden inside the funster’s Trojan horse: a gift box that appears to contain ridiculous products from clueless companies. Trick your friends and family with beaucoup options: Family Blankeez: The Blanket That Covers Up To 8 People!; Coffee Talkies: The Original Travel Mug/2-Way Radio; iARM: Forearm mount for your iPad. (Oh, stop, you’re killing Goddess!) Way more options, $8 each. www.prankpack.com, www.amazon.com.